Thursday, November 30, 2006

A month in review....kind of like the Cliff's Notes of this blog

Hooray! We've made it all the way through NaBloPoMo. And I posted. Every. Single. Day. I've made some new friendships along the way, and gotten to know some of my fellow bloggers. What a great time we've had. Here is a recap of the month, for those of you who may have missed out on some of the fun. I wrote about blogging, I wrote about Alzheimer's Disease, things I love and things I don't. There was a whole post about my pajamas. I participated in my first meme this month...and my second, and third. I love those things (both reading them and writing them). I wondered who I should tell about the blog, and decided not to tell the whole world. I got lots of comments, which I totally love! I wrote more than once about my neurotic tendencies, including planning and list-making. I celebrated all my neuroses, especially the "Nine Kinds of Weird" meme, which was almost exclusively dedicated to my Rules of Food. I shared a recipe called "White Trash." Lots of Stress. Family. Drama. Love. I was oh, so thankful...I stopped to smell the roses. I looked for the good in bad situations (and there were plenty of those). Sometimes the good and bad come together in a single my dad's Alzheimer's Disease (Big AL) giving humor with the sadness. How can you not laugh when your dad has substituted a pair of his wife's panties for a handkerchief at church on Sunday morning?!? I wrote about losing glasses, my sanity, my dad's health. And I wrote about avoiding stuff...confrontation, drama, having sex with My Baby's Daddy...There was holiday fun in the air, and holiday rants all around. I was introspective, extroverted, pre-menstrual, and just plain old me. Thanks for coming along for the ride!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Laughing all the way...

Remember how I was going to outsmart the holiday rush? How I was going to be the one leisurely ordering all my holiday gifts online in my pajamas while droves of miserable shoppers wait for another checkout line to open at Wal-Mart. What I neglected to factor in is the frustration of finding the perfect gift for my kids, being teased with a picture and description, and it being no freaking where to be found in the cyber-universe. The President & I were looking at bikes, and he found one at Wal-Mart's website that he loved. Of course, it's out of stock. Well, he knows and I know that we weren't going to order that bike anyway. It's for Santa to bring. Even so, he began unleashing his inner drama queen in a big way. Sobbing, wailing, gnashing of teeth...."Those are MEAN people who bought that bike!!!! THEY GOT MY BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!" Then, I had to explain how it didn't matter if Wal-Mart is sold out online, that Santa will find a way. (Oh, crap, why did I go there?!?!) There is one on...never mind, I learned the hard way from Janet that you don't announce you might bid on something....

Then there was the perfect gift for Fat Baby at "a leading toy retailer"....perfect, I tell you...just what I was looking for. "Temporarily unavailable online." Of course it was. You could request to be notified if it became available. So, I did--fully expecting never to hear from them. I had already moved past it. Then, I was just reviewing some of my gift ideas online, and it was AVAILABLE! I added it to my cart and began to checkout before you can say North Pole! Fa la la la la la la la la for me! Entered my info, put in the credit card, submit, confirm.....confirm.....WTF!? Where is my confirmation number?!?! It never came up. Went back to my shopping cart--"There are 0 items in your cart." Called customer service. They will be able to tell me in a couple of hours if my order went through or not. And oh, by the way, in the meantime the item is not available again!!!!

If you need me tomorrow, I'll be at the mall with six thousand of my closest friends.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Baby Jesus is MIA, and I don't feel too good myself

Since we're decking the halls and everything, I got out the Little People Nativity Set. It hadn't been out for 24 hours, and already we were short the Christ child, Joseph, and a Wise Man. The camel and the cow took a bath with Fat Baby. I want the kids to enjoy it, and to relate to the Christmas story in their own way...but I have this need to know that the set is intact at all times. I am way less neurotic than I was when I only had The President to deal with. I used to put all his toys away just so every night! Every. Stinkin'. Night. I counted (yes, really!) all the potato head pieces, and put them in the plastic case. I put the Little People cow in the barn, the chicken on the nest, the pig in the mud, etc. I am not a neat freak (by a long shot!) and I am not OCD about neatness and organization, but there is just something about making sure that I've got all my stuff. I can't stand for something to come up missing.

I found all the pieces to the nativity set tonight. (I wasn't going to sleep until I did). Our Savior and company were resting comfortably in a Wal-mart bag with some rolls of film I just got developed. (Courtesy of Fat Baby, I'm sure). Before My Baby's Daddy went to bed, I had him count the pieces (just for old times' sake) and put the set in a safe place. I think I'm going to keep it on a high shelf, and then get it down in the living room when the boys and I can play with it together. I just don't think I can take the stress of constantly chasing down all the pieces.

Yes, I did take my Zoloft today. Yes, I do have raging PMS. Yes, the family stress-o-meter is still kicking up regularly. Yes, there are only like 26 shopping days until Christmas. Yes, I need a break. Why do you ask?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Silent Night

It's the most wonderful time of the the song goes. And I really do love it. I'm not one of those over-the-top holiday zealots, but there are a lot of traditions that I do so enjoy. Tonight we got the tree up, and I read The Polar Express to the boys before bed. All this merriment and holiday festivity got The President to thinking..."Mom, I hope I don't poot on Christmas...because that would be rude to the Baby Jesus on His birthday."

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Santa Who?

My niece, who is three years old is a total hoot. First of all she is tiny...she is closer to age four than age three, and barely wears a size 2T. (Meanwhile, my two year old is straining the seams of his 4T shirts and 3T pants!) Anyway, we were watching the Food Network last night, and they were doing a show about Disney World. She tells "Papa" (my step-dad) that she wants him to take her to Disney. "I want to go to Disney for Chrisam, " she states. (Chrisam is her word for Christmas). Thinking he knows a little something about how kids' minds work, he replies, "If we go to Disney World for Christmas, you'll miss Santa Claus." First of all, she's not like most kids. Second, she is terrified of St. Nick. He's okay on television, he can leave her presents, but she's not going to have any conversations or photo-ops with him. Girlfriend did not miss a beat, "I don't want to see the real Santa Claus...I want to see Mickey Mouse!"

Merry Chrisam everybody!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

The Spirit of Giving

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, we had family visiting from out of state for the holiday. Since they won't be able to be back for Christmas, they thoughtfully brought presents for this children at this visit. The President received a cool remote control car, and a Christmas DVD that I so look forward to watching in the van on our way home.

I heard my sweet boy using his good manners, just as I've always taught him. He said to my aunt, "Thank you for the DVD, and I appreciate it....but I don't like Veggie Tales." Kids are so darn literal...I have always told him that if he gets a gift that he doesn't like, or already has, to say thank you and appreciate the fact that he was given a gift. He's just so honest...I guess I forgot to one step further and explain that you don't have to tell everything!!!

Friday, November 24, 2006

C'est la vie!

Okay, maybe you had to be there...maybe we've been staying up too late, eating too much, whatever. This was funny stuff to me & my sister. We had another holiday gathering tonight at my sister's house with my mom's brother & family from out of state, mom's sister, my grandmother & the whole gang. We were talking about my aunt's recent trip to France. She mostly stayed with a friend's family, so it was different from the touristy trip to Paris, staying in hotels, eating out every meal. She did her share of that, but it was interesting to hear about her experiences. She was talking about eating "real" French food that the family prepared, and mentioned that salad was served at practically every meal. Another relative asked, "What kind of dressing did they serve?"

Under her breath my mom said, "French?" She can be a stereotypical blonde sometimes, so of course my sister and I both thought that she was not trying to be funny. My sister discreetly kicked me, because we were both thinking the same thing. Well, that was all it took. I started having that suppressed laughter when you know it is bubbling up to explode, and you know you're not going to be able to stop it. I thought if I could just hold it in, my sister & I could have a discreet chuckle in private later. But, I just caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye.....we were laughing like a couple of hyenas, we were crying, we could not speak, we were on the verge of leaking bodily fluids!!!! It was just one of those moments. Mom said she just thought no one heard her little joke. Yeah, right. She totally thought they eat French dressing in France. Believe me, there will be a bottle of French dressing on the table at every family occasion for a long time to come!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mood: Thankful

Status: Stuffed

Pants: Tight

Ready for: A Draaank (that's Southern for a serious drink!)

Listening to: My sister & her son playing air hockey

Accomplished today: Christmas card picture

Plans for tomorrow: Shopping, and hopefully an eyebrow wax

Love y'all....mean it!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

A Mayflower By Any Other Name...

So, we have safely arrived at our first holiday destination. One of our holiday traditions is that Pop (my dad) smokes a turkey. Every year, he calls and reminds the grandchildren (there are four of them) to bring an apple, which they will stuff in the cavity of the turkey. They all get to help sprinkle the seasonings and get the bird ready for the fire. Great photo-ops, and the kids always look forward to it.

This year, Pop decided to have a little lesson on the history of Thanksgiving. He did so in the form of a quiz a Thanksgiving game show in the living room. He asked The President what was the name of the ship that the Pilgrims sailed from England to American on. As The President hesitated to come up with the correct answer, my nephew was jumping up and down..."Oh, I know this one! This is an easy one!" finally, The President drew a blank, and gave his turn over to my nephew, who proudly answered....


Happy Turkey Day, Y'all!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Putting the fun in holiday at a time

Life is good. Crazy, but good. For the first time in over 15 years, I will be having Thanksgiving dinner with both my parents at the same time, on Thanksgiving Day. My mom and step-dad will be joining us at my dad's house...such the modern, blended family we are. It is totally cool for me, to have my children to be able to experience all the grandparents at the same time. Let me just tell you, fifteen years ago I never could have seen this coming!

My step-mother is an extraordinary cook, and insists on doing it all herself. So, my contribution to the family's celebration is to bring the bunco game, and some booze. As I have previously mentioned, there are 5 brothers and sisters, and assorted spouses (well, we are one short on those this year!), kids, friends, and adopted family. We always like to chill with some sort of after-feast activity. Since I am the self-appointed activities coordinator, I have chosen the booze and bunco route...hey, stick with what ya know, right?

I have one frantic day left of running here and there, packing up, and travel. I hope all of you join me in living in the moment, and appreciating those we have chosen to celebrate with. It takes more than DNA to make a family. Be thankful for them.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Some Stuff I Loved Today

1. Putting on My Baby's Daddy's thick sweatsocks when my feet got cold.
2. Seeing my kids splash around in the bathtub together.
3. Watching Fat Baby's juicy little bottom, as he ran down the hall naked, squealing with delight.
4. Baking stuff to give to other people.
5. Janet's comment on my post from
6. A little quiet time to myself.
7. A chance encounter with someone I really like.
8. A feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day.
9. Snuggling with the boys, reading bedtime stories by the fireplace.
10. The excitement of getting ready for the holidays with my three boys.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

What you see is what you get!

So, I'm cruising around blogville, looking for a little inspiration. Thought I'd check out a few of my fellow NaBloPoMo participants. Here's what I found: there are way more blogs devoted to cats and knitting than I could have possibly imagined. That made me think...what is the essence of Grits With Cheese? I've never done a post about grits...ditto for cheese. So the title won't tell ya jack (get the cheesy pun?!?) about what you'll find here. I reflected on past posts, and here's what I've found.

Who I am: mom, wife, daughter, sister, Southerner (after years of wishing to be from Vermont or Connecticut, I now embrace my heritage & love my inner redneck!), friend who loves to make you laugh, someone to share a drink with, lover of books and worthless knowledge, a child of God who is saved by grace--and also believes that He has a great sense of humor & wants us to have fun, a planner, a hostess, someone who will invite you over for a meal, or bake your favorite dessert because I love to see people enjoy the things I've prepared, sometimes anxious and overwhelmed, an aspiring writer, a work in progress.

When I thought about what I write about: food, my kids, avoiding sex, planning and making lists, and the stresses of life...definitely can't fit all that into one category.

I liked the idea posed by one blogger to take the opportunity to present the "rules" of their know, what I expect as I writer & what you can expect as a reader. My philosophy of life is this, "Since God knows I'm thinking it...I might as well say it!" I write about my life. I write about my feelings. I don't write anything that would hurt someone (on purpose) if they read it. I am open-minded, and will respect your opinions. I'm not very controversial. This is a blog about fun...but sometimes life is not fun. I will tell the truth, while always trying to find the positive side of things. I am grateful for this outlet. I am excited when people care enough to comment on what I've written. I think it is totally cool that I've gotten to know other people who love to write, and share my sense of humor. Thanks for joining me on the ride!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

But I digress...

Okay, I came in here to do a quick post before I watch the last two episodes of Grey's Anatomy which are sitting in the tivo rarin' to go...but I got a little distratcted, as I could hear My Baby's Daddy singing the National Anthem in the other room...loudly, badly. Interesting. At least the kids are quiet.

My original thought for this post was to update y'all on my holiday planning. I've been dusting off the cookbooks, deciding which goodies are going to be on-tap for this year's various celebrations. I thought I'd post a favorite recipe, and ask that you do the same. I don't want to get in a rut of doing all the same things year after year. Since we travel for the holidays, I don't usually do a main holiday specialties are dips, finger foods, snacks, and baked goodies. I'm not a serious baker, but I do love the holiday treats. My gift to you today is the recipe for a snack mix that is totally addictive. A friend requested a batch today for her Thanksgiving road trip.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, "White Trash..."

White Trash
  • 1 pound white chocolate (almond bark)
  • 4 c. Crispix cereal (can substitute rice chex)
  • 2 c. Cheerios (I use honey nut cheerios)
  • 2 c. tiny twist pretzels
  • 1 c. dry roasted peanuts

Combine all dry ingredients. Melt chocolate according to package directions, and pour over dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Stir to coat. Spread on waxed paper to cool. Break apart. Store in an airtight container.

*Variations: omit peanuts for "Poor White Trash." Add m&ms for "White Trash With Money!"

I showed you mine, now show me yours!!!! Leave me a comment with some new recipes. It's baking season! (Also known as can't-button-my-fat-ass jeans-season....that's why I love to make it and give it away! Baking therapy...what could be better than that?)

Friday, November 17, 2006

Can't you at least buy me dinner first?

Only one thing I love better than "the Friday feeling," and that's Friday with Date Night. And boy, do we ever need it! As you might have surmised from my post earlier in the week, My Baby's Daddy has been all over me like stink on poop since I returned home. It's been constant groping, innuendo, and borderline begging. I know the man has needs and all, but cut a sister some slack! After much contemplation, I've decided to implement a sex schedule. You know how I like a plan, and I figure if he knows it's coming, he'll shut up and leave me alone. Anyway, I've been relieved of a lot of my stress, and after we go out tonight, I feel that I will be much more receptive to a little bootay call. Once I get to the party, I always have a great's just convincing myself to go!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I've been tagged by Janet a.k.a. Wonder Mom to participate in The People Collection Meme. The idea is to list five things that people might not know about you. All the responses will be linked to Sharon's Five Things. Then, it'll be a quick resource to help writers when they need a little inspiration. You know how much I love these things, so here goes:

Five things I bet you didn't know about me:

1. I am completely and utterly rat-phobic. I don't mean that I dislike them a little bit, I am talking about heart-racing, hyperventilating, nightmare-inducing phobia. This applies to the entire world of vermin, including, but not limited to: rats, mice, moles, hamsters, gerbils, and the worst of all--possum. A squirrel is just a rat with good PR. Okay, I've really got to stop thinking about it. Seriously, my palms are getting sweaty.

2. When I was 15 years old, I was the leader of our youth council at church. During a church business meeting that became extremely hostile & confrontational, I saw a man that I had known, loved, and respected all of my life drop dead of a heart attack. It took a long time for me to heal from that incident, and I did not attend church on a regular basis again for more than 20 years.

3. When I was in the first grade, I was reading on an 8th grade level. I was in the "gifted" program. I think I was born with a book in my hands. But I hate math. I almost flunked algebra. I have a hard time making myself do something that I don't enjoy.

4. I had my tonsils removed when I was 28 years old. I can not tell you how terrible it was...I would rather have 10 more babies via C-section than to have my tonsils out again. However, I am glad that I don't have them anymore.

5. I don't like milk, but I love every other dairy product I can think of. I always say there's going to be a big pile of cheese in Heaven!

I don't know five people with blogs who read my blog, so I will tag a few of you who have stopped by from time to time. You inspire me, so I figure the rest of the world deserves to know you, too!

I am tagging: Angie
Jen at Mama Drama

Pay a visit to Sharon & let her know when she can link to your post.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Holiday Fun

Here is an e-mail survey that I got from a friend the other day. I love these darn worthless knowledge things, and this one will help to get us all in the holiday spirit. (Yes, I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but since the Wal-Mart is playing Christmas tunes, I can go ahead & post this survey.) Thanks to my good buddy Janet for the inspiration to post a quiz's a slow news day. Don't be a scrooge, play along and answer in the comments!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? hot chocolate, made with milk, and whipped cream on top (no marshmallows)
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? sits them under the tree, artistically arranged, of course
3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? white
4. Do you hang mistletoe? when I can find it
5. When do you put your decorations up? The week-end after Thanksgiving. As soon as live trees go on sale. My Baby's Daddy likes a live tree...we've done both, and are thinking of getting a pre-lit fake one this year. If so, it may be sooner, but I doubt it.
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? At Christmas, my dad cooks prime rib, and my step-mother makes an awesome salad with artichokes & a homemade dressing that I love. My mom makes a hash brown casserole for Thanksgiving that we ask for every year.
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:We used to go to my Grandmother's house every year on Christmas eve, and when we left we would pass a radio tower. My dad told us it was Rudolph's nose, and we better go straight to bed when we got home!
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?The truth about Santa? He's a great guy, and if you don't believe you don't receive!
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? If we go to my Grandmother's house, we do. Since our second child was born, we have opted to stay home (we live 2 1/2 hours away) for the holiday, and travel to see family Christmas day and after.
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? With ornaments I've been accumulating since I got married. I buy at least one new family one every year & my mom gets Hallmark ornaments for all of us each year. We try to make a festive time out of putting up the tree...playing carols, making hot chocolate, etc.
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love it--you know why? It only snows here once every three or four years, and then just a couple of inches for maybe 24 hours.
12. Can you ice skate? Yeah, but it's not pretty! (At least I could back in the day...)
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? finding out I was pregnant during the holiday season twice!
14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? the buffet! ha ha! of course, it is spending time with my family & being thankful for our blessings
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? My mother's Pumpkin Cake with Cream Cheese and Pecan Frosting
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I keep a basket of children's Christmas books on the fireplace hearth, and we turn off the lights and snuggle up and read stories. Ever since I was a little girl, we have read "Twas the Night Before Christmas" right before going to bed on Christmas eve. At Thanksgiving, all the grandchildren help my dad prepare a big turkey to go in the smoker. We also play Dirty Santa at my dad's with the brothers & sisters on Christmas night. Totally fun!
17. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Giving--the older I get, the more I love to do special things for others. My favorite gifts to family have been a family cookbook that I put together, and a calendar with different pictures of the kids to represent each month.
18. Candy Canes! Yuck or yummy? They are o.k., but I prefer chocolate.
19. Favorite Christmas Movie? Christmas Vacation
20. Which reindeer are you, and why? Blitzen...because nothing says, "happy holidays" like a night of boozing it up with your friends and family!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Taking One For The Team

Imagine're exhausted, emotionally drained, two weeks behind on laundry, your to-do list is multiple pages & it's getting longer by the minute. Your six year old takes three forevers to do his homework, whining all the way. Your two year old wants you to read him the same book seventeen times in a row, and as a bonus, he likes to put his hand down your shirt and pinch your cleavage. Never mind the fact that he hasn't nursed in over a year and a half...he's a boob man & yours are the most easily accesible. Tomorrow will bring a Christmas photo session at little boy's school, and a Thanksgiving lunch at big boy's school.

Doesn't that turn you on? Don't you feel tingly all over...I mean doesn't that just bring out your inner sex goddess?

Yeah. Mine, too.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Home Sweet Home

Woohoo! I am finally good is it going to feel to sleep in my own bed? I'll be able to tell you in a matter of minutes. I was greeted at home with a pretty tidy house (thank you, My Baby's Daddy!) and a beautiful Willow Tree figurine and card from my sweet friend on the front step. (thank you, Twinsmom!) I think I am going to be totally worthless for the rest of the week. Don't y'all think that's a great idea?

By the way, I found my glasses right before I got into bed last night...they were under the hope chest in my room at my mom's....crazy! I had finally called off the search until daylight & then they show up.

I can't wait to catch up on my blog reading & commenting now that I'm back in my own environment...I've just been getting on long enough to fulfill my commitment to National Blog Posting Month. I hope I am so funny tomorrow that every single one of you pees in your pants.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Beware the Blind, Psychotic Woman...

Don't you just hate it when you are looking for something, and it has totally vanished from the face of the earth?!?! If you've been keeping up, I've been living a nomadic life since Wednesday...I've been to my dad's, my sister's, and now I'm spending the night at my mom's house. I've packed and unpacked, hauled stuff here & there...I've got three pairs of pants & four shirts with me. My Baby's Daddy brought me the kids & now I'm schlepping them around the countryside. I'm tired, and I'm ready to get back to normal.

So, now my damn freaking glasses have disappeared, and I've spent the last hour and a half tearing the house apart. I missed Desperate Housewives, so don't tell me what happened. And if you find my glasses, just go ahead & take them outside and run over them with your car. Then, go ahead & expose my kids to some vile, disgusting stomach virus. After that, we'll go for a little hike through some poison ivy.

I'm going home tomorrow evening, so I will try to make this my last bitchy post...believe me, I'm even tired of myself!!!! If you can think of where my glasses might be, please leave a comment. I am desperate!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Five More Fun Things

If you've been reading my elusive posts, you might have gathered that something's been up with the Southern Fried Family. My sister is going through a divorce. The whole family has worked hard to support her, and to do everything necessary to make the transition as comfortable as possible for her and the children. Combine the emotional, stressful turmoil with my dad's Alzheimer's Disease, and it's a wild ride. In honor of this week from hell, I've decided to call today's post:

"Five Things That Are More Fun Than My Sister's Divorce and My Dad's Alzheimer's Disease"

1. Going to the gynecologist for your annual exam, and having to wait for an hour and a half freezing cold, naked, covered with a paper gown.

2. Staying up all night with a colicky baby.

3. A root canal without Novacaine.

4. Swimming in shark-infested waters with an open wound.

5. A paper cut on your tongue.


Friday, November 10, 2006

Clothes Don't Make the Man

In light of our recent crisis, I traveled a couple of hours from home to be with my family. I thought that I would only be gone for the day, and worst case scenario, maybe overnight. I wore my comfortable "mom uniform..." Long sleeve layer-look t-shirt with my favorite jeans and tennis shoes. I grabbed an overnight bag with my pajamas, another long sleeve t-shirt, striped running pants, and my make-up case. My Baby's Daddy took a vacation day, took the President to school, and stayed home with Fat Baby. When we saw that I was going to be gone for a couple of days, he made childcare arrangements so that he could work. Since school was out today in observance of Veteran's Day, (Thank you to all of our veterans for your service to our great nation!) I asked if he could bring the kids to, he did. A couple of family members met him halfway, and he brought an overnight bag for the kids with a few extras for me. He told the family, "Just tell her to go buy whatever they need...I had no idea what to pack." Talk about the understatement of the century!!!! One of my worst fears is having to have this sweet man try to pack a suitcase for me. The melange of clothing that he loosely assembled was amazing. I kid you not...the items included the top part of last year's heavy fleece Christmas pajamas, with no bottoms. (Not to mention that the weather was in the 70s here today...maybe even 80 degrees). Fat Baby was dropped off with no pacifier...and no heads up, either. Got to be bedtime & I call Baby's Daddy, "Ummmmm, where's the paccy?" Oh, when [your friend] picked him up from childcare, she said he didn't have it. But he went to school with one. Well, do you think I'm going to choose this time of emotional upheaval as my opportunity to wean....mmmmmm, no. My dad went up to the Piggly Wiggly (small town grocery store--yes, it's real, just like in the movie Sweet Home Alabama) and he got a paccy. Not the kind Fat Baby takes, but he wasn't picky. Tonight, I went by a Wal-Mart and bought four new ones. There is not reason to punish myself, right?

Since I had very limited choices in the wardrobe department for both myself and the boys, I took the opportunity to enjoy some good old retail therapy! Cha-ching! I followed it up with a yummy 22 oz. strawberry mango margarita...Needless to say, my evening turned out to be just what I needed.

My Baby's Daddy will be leaving Sunday night to go out of town on, he has a chance to redeem himself on his bag-packing abilities. He has been known to have to run to the nearest Wal-Mart when out of town on business for underwear, toothpaste, and/ or deodorant. When we went on a trip for our 10th wedding anniversary....he left all my hang-up clothes at home, and we had to stop en route to buy me a new mini-wardrobe. Hey, works for me!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Under the Wire

I said I was going to blog every day in November...and I meant it! There are only a few minutes left in this day, but here I am. We've had a rough couple of days with a family crisis, but we are on the home stretch and all is well. Thanks for all the nice thoughts. Tomorrow is totally Fun Zone, with a little shopping to boot. Tomorrow's post is going to rock the house. Today....I ain't got jack!

I wish I had a picture, but c'mon, indulge me and use your imagination. As I am about to fall into bed and hopefully a long, hard sleep my last thought will be of my dad and my three year old neice with the tiny china tea set out, serving imaginary tea and crumpets to my nephew (7) and my six year old son. For all the hard times along the way, there are so many beautiful moments to celebrate. Don't let something bad happen before you take a minute to appreciate all the good.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Things I am Thankful For

I know it's a little early for a Thanksgiving post, and this isn''s just that after a very long, stressful, and tiring day, in which I feel that I have walked through hell and back, I just want to take a few quiet minutes to acknowledge some of the good things in my life.

1. Wonderful parents, sisters, and brother. Although we are a blended family, none of these are a step-anything.

2. My husband. He is my safe place to land. He is strong, supportive, caring, and shows his love for me in the most mundane and extraordinary ways. He is my best friend.

3. My Heavenly Father, who has brought us all this far and will surely guide the next steps in our journey.

4. My precious babies. The love and laughter of those two boys is the music of my soul. Just the thought of them wraps me in a smile.

5. For friendships--new and old. Knowing that in any situation, there is somebody out there who is just the right person to call.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Armed and Dangerous

I am freaking. stressed. out. Due to some ongoing family drama/ crisis that I am involved in by association, I am completely not in the mood to be funny or entertaining. I had a light-hearted, funny little tidbit in mind for tonight's post. Then, due to a recent turn of events, and consequently an upcoming confrontation...I just don't have the energy to be the good-time girl you all know and love.

I kicked around the idea of escaping by writing about my favorite getting drunk memories. Ran it by the husband, and he didn't seem entertained at all--mostly, I'm sure, because my favorite drunk memories don't involve him. Would he rather have the best drunk stories or the best sex stories?!? I'm just saying...

So, all you're gonna get from me tonight is this post in which I hereby shamelessly admit that I have a mixed drink and a half-gallon of ice cream. And I know how to use them.

Nine Kinds of Weird

Okay, I really like the meme's one I found over at Holy Mama! I am certain there are more like 9,000 kinds of weird about me, but this is definitely a great opportunity to give the blog-world a little peek into the unique cocktail of weirdness that makes me who I am. Here goes:

1. In case you haven't noticed, my favorite punctuation is dotdotdot. I think it kind of let's you know that I'm just thinking, or taking a breath before the next thought...see, it's not as permanent as a period. I feel like the dotdotdot gives you the feeling we're talking--it's more casual. I don't use it nearly as much in "real life" writing as I do on this blog.

2. I have all kinds of Food Violation Rules...really. Think When Harry Met Sally--the whole "on the side" thing times a thousand.

3. I can't stand for my food to touch. A little touching is okay in a non-runny situation, but if something has the potential to run all over into the other food, it is getting its own separate dish, if I can help it.

4. Sweet and Salty together are a definite violation in some cases, for example: potato chips and ice cream.

5. Sweet and salty can be acceptable in cases where the combination has an overall flavor dominance, for example: candy corn and peanuts, tastes like a Payday candy bar= dominant sweet. Chicken or pork with pineapple (this one is borderline violation)= dominant salty. My mom makes a pineapple casserole that has cheddar cheese which should be a Big. Fat. Violation. Just sounds wrong...I went years without touching it & then had some (I think I was pregnant), and decided it was o.k., dominant sweet. I just have to mentally block out the cheese.

6. Under no circumstances should chocolate be tainted with any form of mint. That's a waste of perfectly good chocolate. Mint is fine for breath freshener.

7. My Baby's Daddy and my friends not only accept the Book of Food Violations...they embrace it. I knew I could love him, when on a college camping trip, MBD was in charge of paper goods & he bought these big, rectangular sectioned plates because, "not everybody likes for their food to touch."

8. Don't get me started on how many levels the whole "peanuts in coke" thing is wrong.

9. That's enough with the Rules of Food. I can't stand My Baby's Daddy's feet. They just get on my nerves.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Proper Planning

I am such a planner. I'm one of those people who gleans great joy out of making a list starting about 3 weeks before I go on vacation. I am also one of those people who get bent out of shape when I have a plan, and something unexpectedly changes my plan. (I am really not type-A across the board...definitely not a neat-freak, way less organized than I should be, sometimes a procrastinator). All that being said, I am currently planning for the holiday season. It makes me happy to have lists of what the kids need and want, who we are planning to buy for, and how much we are planning to spend. While I haven't gotten that far yet, I did e-mail some family members today to get wish lists for the kids. I've purchased a few things, and I have a plan and a back-up plan for our family's Christmas card picture. I can't tell you how happy that makes's just plain sick. I'm like a totally laid-back, outwardly dysfunctional, irreverent Bree VanDeKamp (Hodge) or Martha Stewart. I really do enjoy planning things as much as I enjoy the event itself. And my Christmas card picture is going to totally rock. I'm not going to post details until it's a done deal, but I might just have to shake off the cover of anonymity to post the actual picture...

And remind me at the end of next month (when I am planned-out, partied out, stressed-out and worn-out) just how excited I was.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Should I Come Out of the Closet?

This post by Lotta over at Mom-O-Matic got me to thinking a lot about my writing. My family has always been so supportive & my parents are my biggest fans. When I started this blog a couple of months ago, I told only one close friend & my husband. It’s not like I’m writing any deep, dark secrets—and I’m sure my family would enjoy logging on & reading. They might even leave comments. I love getting comments on my blog, it’s like an unexpected little gift. I just don’t know whether I want to let everyone in on it. Do those of you who are “out in the open” feel that you sometimes think, “Ummmmm…can’t write that, because then I’ll have to hear it from Mom.” Even with friends, I wonder if I’ll find myself leaving out my deepest real feelings because I’ll know they are reading. Not that I’d say, “I can’t believe that heifer bitch slut [insert name here] said my roots were showing.” Not that any of my friends would say that...okay, well a couple would. And none of my friends are heifer bitch sluts, okay, well, a couple are.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Hooray! I just checked the official list...and there I am. Southern Fried Mom is an official NaBloPoMo blogger!

My First Meme

I shamelessly "borrowed" this from my great new blog-friend Angie. Thanks for a little inspiration!

Do you snore?
Not really...I've been told I have a little baby snore occasionally. My Baby's Daddy can rattle the windows, though! The C-Pap machine saved our marriage (along with Strattera for his adult ADD!)

Are you a lover or a fighter?
A hormonal, sometimes anxiety ridden, short-tempered lover. I avoid conflict like the plague, except in situations where I am totally secure. Not so lucky for MBD, I am totally secure in our marriage & can totally fight for something I feel strongly about. A little of both, then I guess.

What's your worst fear?
Not being around to raise my own children.

As a kid, were you a Lego Maniac?
I was a Barbie Maniac.

What do you think of "Reality" TV?
If I get hooked on a season, I love it...can't get enough. This was my first season ever of American Idol. I. HEART. TAYLOR. HICKS. That's kind of reality TV. I totally loved the first season of Big Brother (Chicken George!)--that was when I was pregnant with The President & would put a bowl of ice cream on my big tummy while I watched it. Another favorite was Average Joe...I joked I would name my second baby "David Daskal." Seems I especially love reality tv when knocked up.

Do you chew on your straws?
No way! Every time The President steals a sip of my drink, he will flatten that sucker...makes me crazy!

Were you a cute baby?
Of course! dad says that I looked like a raisin, but after a few days when I turned pink I was totally stunning!

Is the single life for you?
No way.

What color is your keyboard?
Black with white letters...dude, it's a Dell.

Do you sing in the shower?
Yes. Badly. Loudly.

Have you ever bungee jumped?
No, I'm not a daredevil at all.

Any secret talents?
I am an open book---If I have any talents, I can't wait to show them to you!

What's your ideal vacation spot?
Tropical, with a good book, a fruity drink, my husband, and a good nanny.

Can you swim?
Yes, but I prefer to float.

Have you seen the movie Donnie Darko?
Never heard of it.

Do you give a damn about the ozone?
Is that the new diet that's going around?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
Sorry, I can only have 8 licks...Weight Watchers, ya know.

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
I can say it backwards, so probably but I've never tried.

Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpener?
Electric. I wish I could use it on my eyeliner pencils, too.

What's your stand on hunting?
If I let my husband go hunting without bitching, I'll have bargaining power.

Is marriage in your future?
I sure hope so, I took some vows to that effect...

Do you like your handwriting?
Yes...lots of people say I have nice handwriting.

What are you allergic to?
Penicillin and grass. (Grass like the lawn, not like pot.)

When was the last time you said, "I love you"?
Just a little while ago, when I put my baby to bed.

Do you cry at weddings?
Depends on the wedding.

How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled with cheese, not too hubby makes great scrambled eggs. I also like them boiled.

Are blondes dumb?
I am blonde, so obviously I think not...I do enjoy a good blonde joke, though.

Where does the other sock end up?
Under the seat in my van.

What time is it?
10:23 p.m.

Do you have a nickname?
My dad has always called me "Goober"--Goob for short...isn't that heinous?!? Once he took my sister & I to a very nice locally owned shop in our hometown to buy us Easter dresses. He calls loudly across the store, "Hey Goob, what do ya think of this one?" I wanted to crawl under something and die. It doesn't bother me now like it did when I was 14, obviously.

Is McDonald's disgusting?
The service at our local McDonald's is what is disgusting...I have tried to boycott it, but with two small kids, you just keep ending up there. I would not turn down a double-cheeseburger & fries if I were stranded in the desert...or if I had really bad PMS.

When was the last time you were in a car?
Two and a half hours ago.

Do you prefer baths or showers?
I love a long, hot bubble bath...but that is practically non-existent since I had kids. A quick shower is usually the route I take.

Is Santa Claus real?
Heck yeah! And if you don't believe, you don't receive!

Do you like to have your neck kissed?
If the mood is right.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Not really afraid, but I'm just used to having some kind of noise and/or light the t.v.

What are you addicted to?
80s song in my head: "Gonna have to face it you're addicted to love...", Grey's Anatomy, my newest addiction is blogworld!

Crunchy or Creamy Peanut Butter?
Yes, please! My new favorite is crunchy Peter Pan with Honey. Mmmmmm!

Can you crack your neck?
No, and I don't want to.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?

Is Drug-Free the way to be?
Totally. (Except alcohol, and caffeine..)

Are you a heavy sleeper?
Yes, but not as much as I was before the kiddos came along.

What color are your eyes?

Do you like your life?

Are you psychic?
No, and I am notoriously UNobservant to boot!

Have you read Catcher in the Rye?
Yes, more than once. A classic.

Do you play any instruments?
Piano and clarinet. I wish I were better at piano. (I can just hear my mom' s voice now, "I told you to practice..."

Have you ever stolen money?
No way.

Can you snowboard?
I live in the Deeeeeep South....I've only seen snow a handful of times & not usually a substantial amount.

Do you like camping?
If by camping you mean I'll have access to running water, a hairdryer, and air conditioning, then absolutely.

Do you snort when you laugh?
Only if something is snort-worthy.

Do you believe in magic?

Are dogs a man's best friend?
I am definitely more a dog person than a cat person...but we don't have any pets at the moment.

Do you believe in divorce?
I believe that it is sometimes the best alternative in the situation...mostly, I believe that marriage is a serious, lifetime commitment with vows that are not to be taken lightly.

Can you do the moonwalk?
But why would I want to?

Do you make a lot of mistakes?
At least one a day.

Is it cold outside today?
About average for this time of year...kind of chilly.

What was the last thing you ate?
A granola bar.

Do you wear nail polish?
I keep my toes done religiously in the summer, spring, and fall (open-toed shoe season). I don't usually wear polish on my fingernails.

How many people do you like right now?

What's the most annoying tv commercial?
Jessica Freaking Simpson's Proactiv commercials. She makes my ears bleed.

Do you shop at American Eagle?
I have.

Favorite song at the moment?
Loving downloading lots of tunes on my new mp3 player...can't choose just one!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Sweet Dreams

You know what I really love? When it turns cold enough to wear winter pajamas, and putting them on knowing that in the morning I don't have to jump up and rush around, packing lunches, getting everyone out the door on time. That totally rocks. As we speak, I am blogging away in my cozy penguin pjs. When the boys go to bed...mere moments from now, my hubby is going to light the fireplace, and we are probably both going to fall asleep watching a movie in the living room. Do-mest-ic bliss, I tell you.

So, as I mentioned, I am wearing periwinkle & pink penguin pajamas (say that 3 times fast!)...and I wonder, what do your pajamas say about you? These definitely don't reflect how cool and hip I am, but they show my more playful and spontaneous side. They surely don't scream, "Wow! She is so gonna get laid tonight!"

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I love....
1. Kissing my kids' cheeks when they're still pink and warm from sleeping.
2. Getting to the movies in time to get a prime seat in the dead center of the theater.
3. When My Baby's Daddy cracks up at something I've said and does the "silent laugh."
4. Route 44 Diet Coke with Lime from Sonic with a large splash of Malibu rum.
5. Snuggling up with a good book.
6. Cooking & entertaining and having people enjoy the things I've made.
7. Getting a pedicure.
8. Going to church on Christmas Eve.
9. Shopping online.
10. Riding with the windows down, and the tunes cranked up at dusk on a summer evening.
11. Taking a nap in front of the fireplace on a cold, rainy day.
12. The few moments of quiet at the beginning and end of every day.
13. Getting comments on my blog!!!

Thirteen Things I Don't Love....
1. Getting into a situation where I am at someone else's mercy, like shopping or running errands with someone else or going on a road trip without my own wheels...I really need my independence.
2. Stepping in freaking gum in a parking lot...For the Love of God, people!!!! Wrap it up, or find a trash can. There is no excuse for throwing your nasty, chewed up gum out where I will inevitably step in it.
3. Things that taste good make you fat.
4. Bad manners.
5. The fact that nothing I do stays done, i.e., the laundry, the dishes, picking up toys, changing dirty diapers...
6. Getting up early....I am soooooo not a morning person!
7. Alzheimer's Disease.
8. Chaos.
9. When people don't discipline and set boundaries for their children.
10. When people don't take responsibility for their own choices in life.
11. Political ads on television.
12. Star Jones-Reynolds--she looks like a Bratz doll, and she won't talk about how she lost her weight. She was already on my list of people I can't stand, but I must watch every chance I get when she was fired from the View.
13. When people don't leave comments on my blog.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Blah, Blah, Blog...

It is National Blog Posting Month. I'm not sure if I submitted my name in time to be an "official" participant, but I figure it'll be fun to play along, anyway. Give myself a little challenge, you know. So, if there's anything you'd like to know about me....ask away, I've got a whole month to disperse worthless information. Maybe I'll do "30 days of irrelevant facts," or "30 things that I love to eat", and devote each day's post to a favorite food that I shouldn't be eating, because I'm trying to stick with the Weight Watchers. Maybe I'll do 30 days of "Requests from the readers." (Since I'm a fairly new blog, you'll probably have to request more than once to fill the month....better yet, send your mama & 'em on over--the more the merrier!) So, for today's fun, I'll share a story from my week-end. As I mentioned last week, we visited my dad for his birthday. We had a great time, and the whole family was there. At my dad's request, we all went to church together Sunday morning. Apparently Big AL (my dad's name for his Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease) came to worship with us, as my dad reached in his pocket to pull out a handkerchief, he found himself wiping his nose with my step-mother's panties!!!!! We all cracked up.
So there you day down, 29 to go. Now comment, darn it! C'mon show me some love!!! You know you want to.