Friday, October 20, 2006

Seriously....

I can not believe it has been a month since I last completed an entry...hasn't been a month since I started one, but for reasons too numerous to count, I haven't been able to record a coherent thought. I've faithfully read some of my favorite blogs every day, like mom-o-matic, busymom, and the domestic diva. I've even left some comments here and there. I'm having a bit of blog-envy for those who can come up with something to post every day and follow through with it. Actually, I have plenty to write, but I think I have soooo much to write about that I have trouble narrowing it down. Maybe if I write every day it will be easier just to update the latest snippet, instead of feeling like I need to write a novelette to catch you up on what's up with me.

Here's the Cliff's Notes:

My dad is 57 years old and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease a year and a half ago. (Fat Baby was 5 months old at the time...is it any wonder that my "post-partum" anxiety still comes and goes?!?) His medication has helped to slow the progression greatly. Only in the past couple of months have I really come to terms with his illness. I just wanted to spend time with him when everything would be easy and fun. I didn't call him as often as I would like, because I didn't want to have to hear him struggle if he was having a bad day. I was afraid. Recently, I have discovered that I can be with him when he's feeling bad & that's okay. It's just the journey that we are to take. There are plenty of people who lose loved ones in the blink of an eye & never get the opportunity to fully appreciate them. My dad & I butted heads a lot when I was growing up (as I now discover I'm a heck of a lot like him) and we just didn't have that idyllic "daddy's little girl" thing going on. A couple of weeks ago (just before my last un-published post) he came to visit me & we had a wonderful time. He has decided to share my family history with me, and give me the opportunity to write it for my children and future generations. It's so much more than just geneology...it's a gift. I'm coming to really understand him as a person. We stayed up until 2 in the morning & I took 8 pages of notes on a legal pad. And we're just getting started! My dad told me things he has never told another person in his life! Fast-forward to 10:00 p.m. (after he left my house at noon), and my step-sister calls. Dad is having really bad chest pains, and is en-route to the ER. He has heart disease & just had stints put in after Father's Day. I was so scared....I could not imagine not being able to continue this new level of our relationship. After a heart cath and some medication changes, he is recuperating nicely, thank God. The whole next week, I had such an overwhelmed, anxious feeling, like post-traumatic stress. I even developed a fever blister. So, I'm just now feeling like blogging about that. But you know what? When all is said and done, I feel so truly blessed.

Stay tuned for RFLMAO funny post ASAP...this heavy stuff is so not me!

Thank God, I thought of something funny & had to come back and add it in. I can't believe I didn't put this in my post. My dad has such a great sense of humor & every time he is in the hospital, he flirts with the nurses, and keeps everybody laughing. He reminds them that he is a real person & not just a chart. He refers to his illness, as "Big AL" like it's a part of the family! We all thought since he's moved in anyway, we might as well give him a name. So now, we all call Alzheimer's (AD) Big AL. For example, "Hey Dad, here we've been all worked up about Big AL all this time, and it's the heart disease that's kicking your ass!"

1 Comments:

At 9:41 PM, Blogger She said...

"Big Al" that is so funny. It is good to see that he still has his humor. I do similar things when I have to go to the hospital or doctor because I'm sick. I make jokes the whole time, It is my way of coping with the nerves.

On another note, Girl we've missed you! Don't leave us hanging for a month like that again.

 

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