Monday, September 11, 2006

Maternal Guilt

Fat Baby started Mom's Day Out today. To be totally honest, I have mixed feelings about it. It's all very strange to me. His brother was in day care, as I worked (outside the home) full time from the time he was two months old. He was in a wonderful, well-established church run facility. It was a loving and safe environment and he learned a heck of a lot. My job was very flexible, and I was always able to participate in special events, and to be a mom first and foremost. That being said, part of me died every time I left him.

Without hesitation, My Baby's Daddy & I made the decision that I should quit my job and stay home with the boys when #2 came along. I was with the two of them for a year before The President started kindergarten. It has been the best decision I ever made. Being a stay-home (WORKING) mom is so much more challenging than I ever imagined. It is way harder than working in some ways, but I would not trade this opportunity for the world--remember, I've been on both sides of the coin. When you stay home with your kids, nothing that you do stays done. That drives me nuts--when I worked (outside the home) and had a project, I could cross it neatly off a list, and put it behind me. These days, cooking, cleaning, laundry, dishes, homework...it just keeps coming!

I've recently been given the opportunity to do some free-lance grant writing, public relations, and event planning. It's very cool to be able to dip my foot back into the pool of the career world, while still being at home with my kids. That's why I signed him up for Mom's Day Out. It's one day where I can have meetings, or actually work at home with no interruptions. And you know what--all this time I was thinking about what would he do without me...he's been with me pretty much 24/7 for the past two years (three if you count the long, hot, swollen, miserable gestation--you're welcome, Fat Baby--my pleasure). Well, I never took into account the fact that he would L O V E going there. Just because I have the whole guilt complex, doesn't mean he wouldn't enjoy a little break from mama-world. Let's see...schlepping around to meetings and errands all day or playing outside, coloring, learning, singing songs. Not such a hard choice for Fat Baby. Baby's Daddy has been saying I should do this forever--my argument: I didn't quit my job for somebody else to watch my kid. Well, guess what world? I think I've found a compromise. If you need me next Monday, I'll be getting my nails done.

1 Comments:

At 9:48 AM, Blogger She said...

I hate that nothing in my house ever stays done. People think that being a stay at home mom is easy breezy, that all I do is sit around and do nothing all day, that I'm lazy. My own husband, the husband that does nothing to take of the our son except for working, thinks that I have the easiest job in the world. Even now after I have decided to watch someone eleses child for some extra cash and despite my complaints of this "job" being ten times harder now with two little ones does he say that "you have the easiest job in the world". For the people that think it is an easy job I suggest that they walk a week in our shoes. Bet, they'd be begging to hand our kids back.
I'm totally with you on the argument that "I didn't quit my job for someone else to watch my kid". I know anytime that an opportunity arises for me to leave the p-nut with someone else that the guilt usually overrides and I end up not doing it. I don't like to part with my little one. I know I gotta cut the apron strings sometime but they are only little for so long and I don't want to miss a single thing of their precious developement.

 

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