Sunday, September 30, 2007

Martha Stewart wishes she were me...or how to completely overcommit yourself

So, Friday was My Baby's Daddy's birthday! In honor of the occasion, I baked him this cake.

It is a yummy, completely from scratch Italian Cream Cake. The first time I ever tried it. It was absolutely fab-u-lous. I look forward to enjoying a huge wedge of it while I watch the season premiere of Desperate Housewives tonight. (The show has gone downhill since season one, yet I still need to know what happens--go figure).

I also cooked a delicious birthday meal for hubby (okay, for the rest of us, too because you know I love to cook & I love good food). I made a marinade for grilled pork chops with hot pepper jelly, white wine & fresh basil (recipe from Southern Living-first time to try it). They were pretty good. Our grill ran out of gas halfway through, so we had to finish up inside.

To go with the chops, I made a cheese grit casserole (also from Southern Living-also my first time to make it) which was the bomb! This is also the first time you can Google cheese grits and actually hear me talking about cheese grits. The recipe had 10 oz. of fresh grated sharp cheddar and 4 oz. of fresh grated Gouda. YUMMMY! Definitely a do-over.

We had yeast dinner rolls (from the frozen section--what do you think I am superwoman?!?!) and a Strawberry and Hearts of Palm salad with a homemade dressing that rocks the house. I've made it tons of times, and it is always great. (You can find the recipe on Food Network's website--it's a Paula Deen recipe).

AND....Pop and I (okay, mostly Pop) recovered the dining room chairs on Friday. Our table and chairs belonged to my husband's grandfather, and I don't know if the chairs have ever been recovered. I replaced the traditional, threadbare fabric (on the right) with some fun, retro fabric that I had to have. It's so me.

And in a final display of domestic splendor, I made two "Oh Boy Cheesecakes" for a church bake-off today, and won first place in my division.

Last night, I made My Baby's Daddy take me out to dinner!

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

White House Bound...

Since he could talk, my son has dreamed of being The President of the United States. Hey, if you're going to dream--dream big, right? The kid is a natural born politician! His adult mannerisms and vocabulary never cease to amaze me, but...

At the end of the school year last year, we decided to retain him to repeat the first grade. Being one of the youngest and smallest in his class, combined with an inhereted short attention span (thanks, My Baby's Daddy!) made the first time around extremely challenging for The Pres. Not to mention we had a major family trauma-drama at the beginning of the second semester, and everything went to hell-in-a-handbasket.

The fabulous last-year's teacher and I decided that we would do everything we could to make the retention a positive experience for The President. We wanted him to be excited about now being the oldest one in the class, and being able to do things easily that were a struggle last year. We decided to capitalize on his love of politics and get him involved with Student Council when the new school year began.

Well, the school added an extra grade to the facility this year, and the administration decided to have only second graders govern through Student Council. Last year's teacher, this year's teacher, and yours truly were all stressed out when the word came down a couple of weeks ago. The President had to do Student Council. He was born to govern! He would have been eligible to participate, had we not decided to retain him and give him a better academic foundation! This can't be happening!

Last night at the PTO meeting, the Assistant Principal (Student Council sponsor) told this year's teacher, The President, and myself that The Pres was welcome to invite administrative staff (principal, asst. principal, and counselor) to a debate.

He was all over it! They did NOT know who they were dealing with! My baby went in there & knocked their socks off! He told them that the Student Council should focus on doing good things for other people (specifically citing examples like Hurricane Katrina) and that it was their job to represent the school and community. (And he was NOT coached, either!)

Needless to say he is the newest member of the Student Council at his school. It is a very proud day for The Pres and his mama!

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Tuesday, September 25, 2007


This morning, I found myself feeling creative & with a few minutes to spare. So I made a little note with scrapbook paper & stickers to go in The President's lunchbox. It said, "YOU ROCK! Have a great day. I love you, Mom"
(I occasionally surprise him with a little note. One day last year, he sent the note back & had written "Thanck you" on the back) I pretty much forgot about it until I picked him up this afternoon & some little punkass kid says, "The President hated that note you sent today."

Well, my sweet and sensitive first born just absolutely lost it. He began sobbing and saying, "No I didn't Mom...I LOVED it! I really did, Mom. It was a great note & I loved it."

I didn't have time to talk to the teacher (until later this evening at our PTO meeting), but she did reprimand the child & remind him that "we've already discussed this at snack time."

I was heartbroken for my son, and hopeful that my well-intentioned note hadn't caused him to be ridiculed. Mostly though, I was pissed. Kids are so mean. I told The Pres that if he still wanted me to send surprise notes I would. And maybe there might just be an extra cash or chocolate, so he could taunt the kid & say, "Yeah, I really hate it that my mom sent me this special note!!!

I have PMS, too. I am ready to put on my pjs and enjoy Dancing With the Stars.

Oh, and Fat Baby put his hands down the back of his pants and finger-painted with poop today.

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Friday, September 21, 2007

Shameless Plug, Potty Training Woes, and Google

In keeping with the theme of Extreme Home Makeover, Southern Fried Family edition, I have decided that I need to re-decorate my existing home, and plan the decorating of my upcoming new home. Because I basically want 90% of the stuff in the catalog, I decided to do this. I became a consultant to re-coup the money I spent on the starter kit, and to earn some more fabulous stuff for my own home. If you want to have a virtual home show...let me know! I'll be more than happy to get you the info.
You, too can become an honorary Southerner--the merchandise can be shipped anywhere, so even my Yankee friends can participate! Check it out, and place an order! Seriously. You know it's calling you.

Secondly, this so-called potty training business...I shamelessly admit that The President was trained by the daycare & I backed it up at home. Easy-peasy. He was also the over-acheiving, compliant first born. So, here I am with #2 (who is my "challenging" child) sitting day in & day out in the bathroom every time he says, "I'm pooping!" (This means any number of things: "Hey, I pooped--now clean it up!" or "I need to poop, and have a skid mark, but when you sit me on the throne, I'll squeeze my cheeks back together and force it back up" or maybe, "I'm about to mess with your head, mom! You are my puppet!") He seems to have no concept of tee-tee. He doesn't tell you he's done it (even when he's half naked & does it on the floor in the kitchen; in fact, I don't think know he does it. I have spent more time camping out in the potty than I ever did with the Pres & he still doesn't seem to know or care what it's all about. Whatever. I never met a grown-up who wasn't potty trained.

I've been meaning to post some of the "interesting" Google searches that led people to this blog:

tonsil cheese pictures--ewwwwwwww! That's just dis-gust-ing! Yuck.

get my swell on at the gym--and you ended up here?!?!

Hannah Montana boobies--shout out to my 11 year old readers!

naked Southern moms--uh, yeah....hate to disappoint you. Just for fun, I'd almost do it. I guarantee the perv would be careful what wished for next time!

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007


The Southern Fried House of Fun is always a work in progress, and now even more so. My Baby's Daddy has officially decided to open a new chapter, and to leave the world of Management (after seventeen years with the same company!). I think that this new opportunity in the world of sales will be a perfect fit for him, and that he will be oh, so much happier. After much negotiation, prayer, and consideration (on my part--he was ready to sign on the dotted line before immediately) we have decided to take a leap of faith.

My main goal right now is for us to be in a bigger house within a year. When we bought this house (8 years ago), it was perfect for us--with a little room to grow. Well, we've grown. Two kids and a live-in Dad later, it's time to move it on up to the east side! Even with four bedrooms, we are on top of each other right now...we need some extra space, big time. And a big ol' kitchen, and a nice outdoor area (with pool, please) to entertain... Oh, yeah, Mama's got some big ideas. And believe you me, if he has to take a moonlighting job delivering pizzas while he chases his happiness, Mama will be in that big ol' house within 12 months!

Meanwhile, I've been working on getting our current house "market ready." We've moved out of every house we have lived in since we got married just as soon as I got it "the way I wanted it..." So, organizing, donating, cleaning out, painting, decorating, and throwing crap away are my main priorities. I've been setting big and little goals all along the way. Right now, I'm looking for a new print to go over the mantle, and paint, artwork and accesories for the office. Hopefully I'll get the boys' bathroom painted within a week. (Thanks,Pop!)

Good times.

Oh, and we're having the Sex Talk, phase one with The President tonight. More on that later!

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Thursday, September 06, 2007

A glimmer of hope...

So, in spite of the insantiy that is my life, I find that I am able to sit here today feeling pretty darn good. You probably don't realize it, but this is HUGE! Just the other day, I was giving the boys a bath & we were laughing and splashing...when it hit me. I actually felt like my old self! I felt the way I did when I had it all together--before post-partum depression & anxiety, before my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, before the bottom fell out & my whole life as I knew it was turned upside down. I felt like the old, carefree, joyful me...not the impostor who's been living in my body & trying to hold it all together for the last 3 years. And I've been having more of those moments lately. I've realized that when Fat Baby is running around wreaking havoc, plundering through the pantry, tossing toys all around the house--he's looking for something to do. And if I just take the time to stop (like I would have with my firstborn)and color, read a story, or play with blocks--we will both enjoy it, and I can stand to be in the same house with him once more. I still have struggles...but I have hope.

Over the Labor Day holiday, we went to visit my BFF in another state. We've known each other since we were 13. It's so nice to spend time with someone who doesn't just know your family history--she's lived it with you. She's met your dumbass ex-brother-in-law, dated your psychotic cousin, and knows all about how your sister drives you insane. You don't have to provide the back-story, just jump right in where you left off. We probably talk on the phone 2 or 3 times a week, and try to see each other once a year, at least. She has four cute and well-mannered kids, and even with six kids and four adults under one roof--it was fantastic! Very relaxing and fun times. Not once did I suffer that heart-pounding, jaw-clenched need for "down time."

Let's place bets on my next meltdown--how about a week from Thursday?