White House Bound...

Since he could talk, my son has dreamed of being The President of the United States. Hey, if you're going to dream--dream big, right? The kid is a natural born politician! His adult mannerisms and vocabulary never cease to amaze me, but...

At the end of the school year last year, we decided to retain him to repeat the first grade. Being one of the youngest and smallest in his class, combined with an inhereted short attention span (thanks, My Baby's Daddy!) made the first time around extremely challenging for The Pres. Not to mention we had a major family trauma-drama at the beginning of the second semester, and everything went to hell-in-a-handbasket.

The fabulous last-year's teacher and I decided that we would do everything we could to make the retention a positive experience for The President. We wanted him to be excited about now being the oldest one in the class, and being able to do things easily that were a struggle last year. We decided to capitalize on his love of politics and get him involved with Student Council when the new school year began.

Well, the school added an extra grade to the facility this year, and the administration decided to have only second graders govern through Student Council. Last year's teacher, this year's teacher, and yours truly were all stressed out when the word came down a couple of weeks ago. The President had to do Student Council. He was born to govern! He would have been eligible to participate, had we not decided to retain him and give him a better academic foundation! This can't be happening!

Last night at the PTO meeting, the Assistant Principal (Student Council sponsor) told this year's teacher, The President, and myself that The Pres was welcome to invite administrative staff (principal, asst. principal, and counselor) to a debate.

He was all over it! They did NOT know who they were dealing with! My baby went in there & knocked their socks off! He told them that the Student Council should focus on doing good things for other people (specifically citing examples like Hurricane Katrina) and that it was their job to represent the school and community. (And he was NOT coached, either!)

Needless to say he is the newest member of the Student Council at his school. It is a very proud day for The Pres and his mama!

Crap

This morning, I found myself feeling creative & with a few minutes to spare. So I made a little note with scrapbook paper & stickers to go in The President's lunchbox. It said, "YOU ROCK! Have a great day. I love you, Mom"
(I occasionally surprise him with a little note. One day last year, he sent the note back & had written "Thanck you" on the back) I pretty much forgot about it until I picked him up this afternoon & some little punkass kid says, "The President hated that note you sent today."

Well, my sweet and sensitive first born just absolutely lost it. He began sobbing and saying, "No I didn't Mom...I LOVED it! I really did, Mom. It was a great note & I loved it."

I didn't have time to talk to the teacher (until later this evening at our PTO meeting), but she did reprimand the child & remind him that "we've already discussed this at snack time."

I was heartbroken for my son, and hopeful that my well-intentioned note hadn't caused him to be ridiculed. Mostly though, I was pissed. Kids are so mean. I told The Pres that if he still wanted me to send surprise notes I would. And maybe there might just be an extra surprise...like cash or chocolate, so he could taunt the kid & say, "Yeah, I really hate it that my mom sent me this special note!!!

I have PMS, too. I am ready to put on my pjs and enjoy Dancing With the Stars.

Oh, and Fat Baby put his hands down the back of his pants and finger-painted with poop today.

Snapshots of Back-to-School

Today was our first day back. I hate transitional days. I think I'll do this post in bullet form, because I seem to be typing in bulllet statements. Here goes:

• The President is (by our choice) repeating the first grade this year. He has several strikes against him, in that he is

#1) male

#2) hereditarily pre-disposed to ADD (remember My Baby's Daddy has adult ADD)

and #3) he has a late birthday

Last year's school performance did not at all reflect the brightness, intellect, and high scores that you would expect from The Pres. Teachers & the (fabulous!) school guidance counselor assured me that it could very well be nothing more than that late birthday. He was 6-9 months younger than most of his class. We decided to try it again, and if attention-span issues arise (again), we will address them. He is very cool with trying it again. He's a fan of being the oldest one in class, and most likely the best reader.

• Yesterday, The President & I made homemade cookies that I sent to the teacher this morning in the cutest little pink striped bakery-box. It's never too early to kiss a little ass. (And I really do appreciate teachers who are underpaid for the phenomenal work they do.)



• It rained for like 3 weeks of our summer vacation (not complaining, we need the rain down here). Today it is hotter than three hells. Why couldn't it be 159 degrees and sunny when all we had to do was splash in the pool?



• When I left to pick up The Pres, Fat Baby decided to climb in the big boy booster instead of his carseat. It's a short drive, and he definitely exceeds the minimum weight requirement to do the booster. When we got to the school, he unbuckled and began to roam around the van. He made his way to my lap, and pretended to drive. When I had to pull forward about 15 feet, I felt like the Britney Spears of our school, with baby on my lap. (No, I am not shaving my head...though I am about half bat-shit crazy).



• Got the big boy in the car, great first day, and soon heading for home. Our elementary school changed the pick-up procedure slightly, so I'm sitting in one of four lanes of traffic, with hundreds of cars in front and hundreds of cars behind. This total. freaking. dumb. ass. in front of me starts to do a three point turn, like he's just going to weave around & jet on out of there! I was so pissed off! Even if it's his first time at our school, he had to know that we couldn't all just cut & run when we felt like it....I can't stand it when people think the rules don't apply to them! The President was afraid I would take my unstable, hormonal self out there & embarass him. I almost did.



• Fat Baby starts military pre-school on Monday. After he flooded the bathroom yesterday, dumped a whole colander full of freshly-washed grapes all over the kitchen floor to watch them roll, and was generally a pain in the butt...I have to say it was quite easy to commit to three days a week for him. I hope to the GoodLordUp Above that they teach him how to follow directions, and how to transition from one activity to the next, because I sure as hell haven't been able to.


• Have I mentioned that it's hot as Hades around here?!? I flat-ironed my hair twice today! (A sister's gotta stay cute, ya know?)


• I'll be glad when we get into our new routine!