Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Boo, Y'all!

I am up to my eyeballs getting ready for various classroom festivities. There is a room-mother who I think has potential, but I'm pretty sure I can take her...

Happy Trick or Treats, everybody! If you need me, I'll be plundering through the boys' bags for the good stuff! I'm so going to need a big drink when tomorrow is over!

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Wednesday, October 24, 2007


Finally! I sit here in the heart of dixie with socks on my piggies. There is the potential for a little gas log action this evening. Wahoo! I love fall. I do love that I live in a climate where I can wear jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops pretty much until Christmas. (That reminds me of something cute. Fat Baby has a new little boy in his preschool class named Christian & he calls him Christmas. I love it.) Anyway, the mercury has finally dropped a little. I love to let the house stay slightly chilly & then just spot heat with the fireplace. So cozy! I can't wait to get everybody in pjs tonight, so I can be lazy. Anyway, the office is the coldest room in the house, so I had to break out the socks. Being a good Southen girl, I love to be barefoot whenever possible. To minimize the inprisonment of my feet, I guess I'll wear Crocks today. (Wow, this is an exciting post....yawn.)

So, what's new around here? Wheezing, hacking, coughing....that's pretty much it.

Pop is having a birthday this week-end. His sister & I have planned some birthday festivities. I am baking the famed Italian Cream Cake & making a Paula Deen dip. (Spinach, bacon, 5 kinds of cheese, hot and bubbly---yes, please!) We are going to stay overnight at my aunt's house. All the kids are bringing their costumes, and we'll do trick-or-treaty stuff. Bobbing for apples, face painting, pinata, etc.

Since I am the family activities director, I am supposed to bring games for the adults. I am bringing my bunco set (standard at all family parties), and maybe a card game like Phase 10 or Uno. Any suggestions?

I thought of doing pumpkin carving, then each family could take their pumpkin home for Halloween.

I know it's going to be fun laughing, eating, and hanging out. I am really looking forward to it.

While I'm thinking of costumes and Paula Deen...I had the great idea to spray my hair gray, sport and apron, and dress as Paula for Halloween. (It would so work, believe me!) "HEY,Y'ALL!" Anyway, I ran the idea by The President, because I would be wearing it to an event at his school this past week-end. He said, "No, mama....I want you to be a supermodel or a princess!" (He's not brainwashed or anything). How could I disappoint my sweet boy? I had to put on the glam. So instead of going the Lane Bryant supermodel route, I wore a long, straight black skirt and black sleeveless shell with blingy jewelry, a white boa (chosen by The Pres), a tiara, and a ribbon sash that had "Mom of the Year" in gold glitter. It was fab-u-lous! I teased up my pageant hair & everything. I was totally into it. In fact, I'm still wearing it. Just kidding. (Counting the days 'til Wednesday, though...)

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Twelve Things I Love About My Baby's Daddy

To celebrate my recent wedding anniversary, here's a little tidbit for each year we've survived without killing each other been joined in wedded bliss.

1. He washes dishes and childen, sometimes both in the same evening. Bow chicka wow wow! He will even do either and/or both without the bow chicka...

2. He undestands female politics. He pays attention--knows when to ask if I'm screening before answering the phone, doesn't tell everything he knows, and has learned to just listen to me bitch about someone or something instead of telling me to take the high road, because...

3. He has a much better heart than me. He really does try to see the best in all people and situations. He's an optimist. I'm more of a...realist.

4. He's a social butterfly. My Baby's Daddy is totally outgoing & never meets a stranger. I do have to remind him when we attend social events that I didn't just come along to be the nanny while he enjoys cocktail hour.

5. Women love him. He's affectionate & nice. He also loves to know the latest scoop, so he'll participate in a little harmless small-town gossip. This comes in handy with #2.

6. He can fix stuff. Sometimes.

7. He is great with the kids. He has always been "hands-on" & helped me with feeding, diapers, and entertaining the troops. The boys are crazy about him, and he expects them be respectful to me at all times--that's a big deal to him, and I appreciate it.

8. He totally gets my sense of humor, and he has this fantastic laugh when he gets really cracked up. I call it his "silent laugh." Kind of silent & wheezy until the big chuckle busts out at the end.

9. He is intelligent--I can't imagine spending my life with someone without being able to have great conversations. It doesn't matter if it's something big (like current events, politics, or life decisions) or small (how do you like my new pedicure? guess who I saw today?)--we are very compatible & on the same wavelength.

10. He makes me feel safe. I know that I can count on him, no matter what. There was a time when I felt he was the only one in the world that I could depend on--and that feeling of security is a bond that would be hard to break.

11. He calls me a bajillion times a day. Yes, it drives me insane sometimes, but he really does just like to talk to me. That's pretty good after 12 years.

12. Date night...whether it's Appointment TV or a real dinner-and-a-movie date, or the somewhat annual trip-without-kids, we always have fun spending time together.

Stay tuned tomorrow for "Twelve (or more!) Things That Piss Me Off About My Baby's Daddy!" Just kidding.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

These Are a Few of my Favorite Things....Product Endorcements by Southern Fried Mom

Being that I'm such a trendsetter & all, I thought I'd share what's hot for fall in my Southern Fried World. The following have earned the Southern Fried Mom stamp of fabulousity...(Could somebody who's computer-literate please make me some kind of badge for my endorcements of all things fabulous? Thank you.)

*We finally got a little nip of chill & the air, and since we were taking the Southern Fried Kids to the state fair, I had to go on the annual dreaded blue-jean quest. I'm pretty sure I have some jeans from last year that I can squeeze my ass into, but I was in no condition to plunder through the wasteland of my closet to locate them. (That true confessions is yours at no extra cost). Since I lost a bunch of weight after I had Fat Baby & have kept some of it off---I can tell you this. There is a huge difference in having no choice in where you shop and having many choices. At my skinniest, I swore I would never darken the door of Lane Bryant again. However....I keep hearing people talking about this new line of jeans there. And even though I will NEVAH post a full-body photo, take my word for it that I am very hip-heavy and oddly proportioned. Even in high school when I was (once) a size 8, I still hated shopping for jeans. Just to get it over with, I ran into Lane Bryant on my quick jean-finding mission. Ten minutes later, I was back in the car with THE PERFECT JEANS!!!! I kid you not! No more gaping waist, flattering fit, and (since I wore them all day yesterday, I can tell you this) they are the most comfortable jeans I have ever owned! They have researched & created categories based on body types. (Each type is color-coded, I am a blue). The sales associate measured my waist, and had me in the perfect pants immediately. Oh, and one of my favorite features---they size with single digit small numbers. (When would I ever be a size 4?) Check them out at
Lane Bryant Right Fit Jeans

And they're cute and trendy, too!

*If you've been reading long, you know about my love affair with diet coke. Particularly the 44 oz. Diet Coke with lime from Sonic. I really do average about two of them a day. I know, it's an addiction. Yesterday, I stopped by with only a few minutes to spare to grab a cold one on my way to pick up Fat Baby from preschool. Afterwards, I would enjoy my beverage as we waited in carpool line for the President (for about an hour). I opted for the speedier service of the drive-thru, since I was just ordering a drink. Apparently the family in line ahead of me didn't get the memo, because they were just taking their sweet time ordering, and talking on their cell phone, and fighting with their kids, and making their damn grocery list while sitting at the speaker. Finally, at 2:00 (when I was supposed to be at the preschool collecting my child) I whipped into a drive-in spot and jabbed the call button. The manager quickly took my order, and delivered it promptly. How my mood changed when I saw the look of recognition in his eyes, and he said, "Oh, it's you!" I told him I would be back at 3:15 with the President for his Friday afternoon Blue Coconut Cream-Slush...and I'd be ready for a refill. I explained that I was his best customer & whenever he sees the silver bullet (my Honda Odyssey)pull in, go ahead & start squeezing the limes! He said it was great to get to know his best customer! Score! I finally have a personal connection with my Sonic fix. This could come in handy. Now, if they just had Malibu rum in stock...

*I've also renewed my love affair with Spanx. The cute, retro packaging and the fact that Oprah has done shows about them makes them trendy and mainstream--somehow it keeps me from feeling like I'm just another fatass squeezing my stuff into a girtle.

*Finally, while you'd never guess by my youthful spirit, my non-quite-twenty-something-anymore body has begun to fall apart. Consequently, I have to recommend my home remedy for plantar fasciitis. First, promise Your Baby's Daddy sexual favors that you may or may not (okay...mostly not) deliver. Then take three ibuprofen and stretch out on the sofa and have him massage your heel with Aspercreme. Sadly, this is the highlight of my evenings lately.

*Of course, I can't list my favorite things without Southern Living at Home! On my first order, I spent my entire commission plus a hundred bucks...I totally love this stuff!

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Saturday, October 06, 2007

I'm older & I have better insurance...

It's a super great lazy day around the Southern Fried House today. Everyone except me & the Fat Baby are off enjoying some SEC football. We spent a few happy hours purusing a new Books a Million--heaven on earth--followed by Target. A double dose of wandering bliss. I bought a bunch of crap I didn't need. I bought many lovely, useful and wonderful things that will bring me great joy. Including three books, Monster Mash Mojito Mix (add rum & freeze--makes 20 cocktails), a new planner (because I'm an OCD, type A, planning fanatic--and it makes me happy happy), and some fabulous hooks for the boys' room to hang their backpacks on. Finally. (Have been looking for those for months).

When the window of opportunity for fun-time-with-a-preschooler was closing, and we were leaving the Tar-jay, I began to back out of my parking space just as I always do. Car in reverse, foot on break, creep back, and check rearview and side mirrors. I almost always have my kids in the car, and their safety is #1 priority with me. Driving the big ole Honda Oddysey doesn't inspire reckless abandon--ummm, kay? Anyway, as I was doing my preliminary ease back I heard somebody honk their horn. At moi?!?! No one could have been more careful than I at that moment. (I do admit that I am by no means the best driver around, but I do. not. take unnecessary chances with my kids). I look around to see the source of the rudeness. Three skinny little heifers who barely look old enough to drive. She was probably sitting on phone book to see over the wheel. I caught the whole "mean girls" look, and the whole, "look how cool I am--I can honk at some mom in a minivan."

Pissed me off. I thought about flipping her off, but what kind of example would that be to Fat Baby. (And besides I was afraid he'd do it at church tomorrow if he saw me do it). So, pulled out & passed them, I looked the driver straight in the eye and smiled (fake, bouncy cheerleader smile) and waved my ass off. They probably thought I knew their mom. Whatever. They all looked very perplexed, but I'm sure they will think about the attitude next time. Nah, probably not. I'm going to do my "I Don't Have a Girl" Dance now.

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007


...and even though today is The President's very first Student Council meeting, I'm not campaigning for him. You may remember my love of Dancing With The Stars from last season. I fell a little bit in love with Joey Fatone (okay, I still am...) I have often commented that I am into the whole charisma thing. (You know Taylor Hicks was my American Idol guy---although, I don't see as much charisma these days as I'd like...) My Baby's Daddy is a social butterfly, and he totally cracks me up. That's the kind of guy I usually root for on these reality shows---the fun ones that you'd want to have a few drinks with.

This year's hit pick may suprise you. I am all about Mark Cuban on DWTS....he seems so fun and cool. He also seems to be really having a good time. He's a hard worker (and he just had his hip replaced a couple of months ago). He deserves to stay around and entertain us--and he is really mastering the dances. Even though he has more money than God, he seems very down to earth and family oriented.

So...even if you don't watch, please go here and register---and vote for Mark!!! You can check out his blog here---okay, I just did that so his site would have mine as a "blog that links here." I'm so cheesy!

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