What Will He Think of Next?

I know everyone thinks their kids are the cutest, smartest, most-well behaved...and all that. So, it will come as no surprise when I share how funny, imaginative, and smart my children are.

Yesterday morning, the boys dressed and lined up their favorite animals from Build-a-Bear Workshop on the kid-sized sofa in their room. Then, The President informed me that since I had "nothing to do all day" it would be my job to teach his "sons" while he was away at school.

Sure, I'd be glad to...now put on your shoes! Eat breakfast! Brush your teeth! Don't forget your backpack! And so another day begins.

When we'd been home from school for a couple of hours, he asked me "what the boys learned today?" Huh? Oh...I had forgotten my promise to mold the minds of his best pals.

"Ummm, uh, we sang the alphabet song, and counted, and then talked about how bees (the theme of The President's second grade classroom) gather nectar & make honey."

"What kind of pictures did you show them?"

You've got to be kidding me. I'm being held accountable for my lesson plans & use of visual aids for stuffed animals? Seriously.

I told him that we didn't have time to get to that.

"That's right," he said. "It is just the first day."

So, today I propped up a book about dinosaurs in front of the animals...maybe he'll be impressed that I remembered my teaching responsibilities.

This probably could be a second post, but it is kind of along the same lines....and I'm in a hurry to go pick up Fat Baby at preschool.

The President found a nice, smooth river rock that he named aptly, Rocky. We drew a face, hair & a moustache on Rocky with a sharpie, and he's been pretty popular around here lately.

School has been in session three weeks now, and My Baby's Daddy has not been at home at all in the mornings, and has missed the majority of meals served in the evening. He works in a sales job, but also does real estate part-time. The market is crappy right now, so if he's seeing clients and making deals I say, "Your plate will be in the microwave when you get home."

But it's harder for children to understand when a parent is "never home." The President wants to spend time with Dad (a.k.a. "the FUN parent"). Last night, My Baby's Daddy got home as I was orchestrating bath time for the boys. When The President put on his PJs, he collected Rocky, brought him to our room and announced, "Dad, Rocky wants to buy a house." (Smart kid to put together the way to get dad's attention). It was so cute to listen to them:

My Baby's Daddy: Has Rocky been to the bank?

The Pres: Oh, yeah...a couple of times.

MBD: So, he's prequalified. How much does he want to spend?

TP: Fifteen thousand or two hundred.

The finally drew up a contract, and had some great time together. I am looking forward to a long week-end of more moments like these. And help with bath time. And no lunches to pack. And no carpool line. And...

Twelve Things I Love About My Baby's Daddy

To celebrate my recent wedding anniversary, here's a little tidbit for each year we've survived without killing each other been joined in wedded bliss.

1. He washes dishes and childen, sometimes both in the same evening. Bow chicka wow wow! He will even do either and/or both without the bow chicka...

2. He undestands female politics. He pays attention--knows when to ask if I'm screening before answering the phone, doesn't tell everything he knows, and has learned to just listen to me bitch about someone or something instead of telling me to take the high road, because...

3. He has a much better heart than me. He really does try to see the best in all people and situations. He's an optimist. I'm more of a...realist.

4. He's a social butterfly. My Baby's Daddy is totally outgoing & never meets a stranger. I do have to remind him when we attend social events that I didn't just come along to be the nanny while he enjoys cocktail hour.

5. Women love him. He's affectionate & nice. He also loves to know the latest scoop, so he'll participate in a little harmless small-town gossip. This comes in handy with #2.

6. He can fix stuff. Sometimes.

7. He is great with the kids. He has always been "hands-on" & helped me with feeding, diapers, and entertaining the troops. The boys are crazy about him, and he expects them be respectful to me at all times--that's a big deal to him, and I appreciate it.

8. He totally gets my sense of humor, and he has this fantastic laugh when he gets really cracked up. I call it his "silent laugh." Kind of silent & wheezy until the big chuckle busts out at the end.

9. He is intelligent--I can't imagine spending my life with someone without being able to have great conversations. It doesn't matter if it's something big (like current events, politics, or life decisions) or small (how do you like my new pedicure? guess who I saw today?)--we are very compatible & on the same wavelength.

10. He makes me feel safe. I know that I can count on him, no matter what. There was a time when I felt he was the only one in the world that I could depend on--and that feeling of security is a bond that would be hard to break.

11. He calls me a bajillion times a day. Yes, it drives me insane sometimes, but he really does just like to talk to me. That's pretty good after 12 years.

12. Date night...whether it's Appointment TV or a real dinner-and-a-movie date, or the somewhat annual trip-without-kids, we always have fun spending time together.

Stay tuned tomorrow for "Twelve (or more!) Things That Piss Me Off About My Baby's Daddy!" Just kidding.

Martha Stewart wishes she were me...or how to completely overcommit yourself

So, Friday was My Baby's Daddy's birthday! In honor of the occasion, I baked him this cake.







It is a yummy, completely from scratch Italian Cream Cake. The first time I ever tried it. It was absolutely fab-u-lous. I look forward to enjoying a huge wedge of it while I watch the season premiere of Desperate Housewives tonight. (The show has gone downhill since season one, yet I still need to know what happens--go figure).

I also cooked a delicious birthday meal for hubby (okay, for the rest of us, too because you know I love to cook & I love good food). I made a marinade for grilled pork chops with hot pepper jelly, white wine & fresh basil (recipe from Southern Living-first time to try it). They were pretty good. Our grill ran out of gas halfway through, so we had to finish up inside.

To go with the chops, I made a cheese grit casserole (also from Southern Living-also my first time to make it) which was the bomb! This is also the first time you can Google cheese grits and actually hear me talking about cheese grits. The recipe had 10 oz. of fresh grated sharp cheddar and 4 oz. of fresh grated Gouda. YUMMMY! Definitely a do-over.

We had yeast dinner rolls (from the frozen section--what do you think I am superwoman?!?!) and a Strawberry and Hearts of Palm salad with a homemade dressing that rocks the house. I've made it tons of times, and it is always great. (You can find the recipe on Food Network's website--it's a Paula Deen recipe).

AND....Pop and I (okay, mostly Pop) recovered the dining room chairs on Friday. Our table and chairs belonged to my husband's grandfather, and I don't know if the chairs have ever been recovered. I replaced the traditional, threadbare fabric (on the right) with some fun, retro fabric that I had to have. It's so me.





And in a final display of domestic splendor, I made two "Oh Boy Cheesecakes" for a church bake-off today, and won first place in my division.

Last night, I made My Baby's Daddy take me out to dinner!

I'm a 'Ho

That's right...my new business cards say, "Will blow for beach trip money!" Even with a clientele of one, business is booming! My Baby's Daddy is happy, I'm happy--it's a win/ win situation. Let me just tell you something, girls...if you want to enjoy a little guilt-free spending, just invest about 10 minutes of quality time with your man....Then spend the entire afternoon SHOPPING!!! I bought six new outfits today. I'm just saying....

Ma....MEATLOAF!!!!

So last night, we're enjoying a lovely family dinner. Nice conversation, great food, it's the week-end and living is easy. All of a sudden, Fat Baby decides that he is over it. Now picture a 42+ pound two year old...it would be ridiculous for him to have a squeaky little wussy voice, wouldn't it? But it still totally cracks me up to hear him bellow out. I am often greeted first thing in the morning with a big smile, and a deep "MAAAAAAAAA!!!!" As he was adamantly demanding his "CUUUUUUUP!!!!!" (think caveman caliber one-word sentences) I told My Baby's Daddy that he sounds just like Will Ferrell's character in Wedding Crashers. And believe me, that could so be him. He has that daredevil frat-boy personality to serve as the perfect foil to his brother, a straight-laced politician.

So we're all "ha ha....Ma--the MEATLOAF!!! ha ha...picked her up at a funeral!!!! " and My Baby's Daddy says how Vince Vaughn was awesome in that movie, too.

"I'd do him." I say, meaning every word.

"You'd do him just because he's funny?"

"Why do you think I do you?"

Quick and Dirty

Ironically, this post by the Queen of the Mayhem was very timely for me this week. It seems that I did such a fabulous job vacuuming, that I never even had the opportunity to "pay the bills." There has been a lot of double-entendre filled recap about our (short-lived) night of unbridled passion around here this week. For example:


My Baby's Daddy (while discussing fixing our laptop's wireless connection problem): "It shouldn't be too hard, it'll just take me a minute."

Me: "Yeah, I remember."


So, for the past few days, he's been begging for a do-over. A rematch. A chance to redeem himself as the Energizer Bunny of Love. And of course, he's constantly telling me how amazing I am, and how much the vacuuming means to him.

This is a true discussion that we had just this morning:

MBD: "So, do you like doing it (vacuuming)?"

Me: "I don't mind it."


MBD: "But do you like it? I want you to like it."

Me: "I really don't mind. I mean, there are things I'd rather be doing, of course, but it's fine."

MBD: (All astonished that there could possibly be anything more fulfilling for me on earth...) "Give me an example of what you'd rather do."

Me: "Read a book."

MBD: "You can't say that!!!! That's like saying I like to take a good shit, and I like to eat a good steak--it's just not the same!"

Me: "We're having steak for dinner."