Back to School & Menus

I wish I had the hours of free time I had envisioned when school started to keep you entertained with one funny and compelling post after another...but, yeah, I'm not there yet. So, for now all I have to offer is Menu Plan Monday (hosted by Organizing Junkie). And the only reason it's done, is because I had to do the grocery shopping anyway.



Here goes:

Saturday: My mom, sister, and family visited. In honor of my birthday, we had a feast of various home-grown vegetables including my favorite FRIED GREEN TOMATOES! There was also a four-layer chocolate dessert thing that was absolutely sinful.

Sunday: Mom brought tomatoes from my grandmother's garden. Try as I might, there was no way to eat them all before they went bad. So...Pop & I made homemade vegetable soup. We had it for dinner Sunday night & now have 8 more quarts in the freezer for the winter. It was my first time to do it, and I am very proud of the results. I may post pictures, because you know everything is a scrapbook opportunity! (The President loved helping, too!)

Monday: barbecue ribs (buy one-get one free @ Winn-Dixie), corn casserole, coleslaw

Tuesday: tacos

Wednesday: poppy seed chicken, rice, salad

Thursday: salmon croquettes, English peas, mac & cheese

Friday: grilled hot dogs or pizza take-out

Breaking News from Potty-Gate

Due to various insanity and over-scheduling, I was unable to do my grocery shopping on Saturday as I have been. Therefore, when my children asked for scrambled eggs Monday morning, there were no eggs. Cereal? No milk. Pop-tarts? Uh-uh. So....I was forced to forage for food with my two "assistants." We had several errands to run, went to lunch, and hit Wal-Mart and the grocery store. Since I'm neither an idiot nor a glutton for punishment, I made the Executive Decision to put Fat Baby in a pull-up (actually a Good Nights, because he out-weighs the pull-ups now!) Anyway...as soon as we got home, I took him to the potty and resumed his underwear wardrobe. Which was fine for the rest of the afternoon.

UNTIL...I was in the middle of cooking dinner. As my menu plan post states, I was planning to fry okra for my sweet daddy. (He doesn't ask for much). So, I have roast in the oven, potatoes boiling to be mashed, peas cooking, and my electric skillet (a kitchen essential) filled with hot oil awaiting the lightly breaded fresh okra.

At that moment... (Pop had helped me around the house all day & had just settled in for his retirement-earned daily nap)At that exact moment, when My Baby's Daddy was probably 45 minutes from arriving home...when I was the only available adult...Fat Baby rounded the corner with his underwear inside-out in his hand. FULL. OF. POOP!!!! Poop was spread all over his arms & legs from the process of his removing the offensive underwear. And where was he when he decided to remove his poopy pants? The TOP BUNK!

I very nearly had a nervous breakdown. But, as Moms (who have no choice) do, I cleaned the mess, scrubbed myself as if I were going to perform surgery, and resumed cooking dinner.

Yesterday, he went to preschool (in underwear---how else is he going to learn?) and he stayed clean ALL DAY LONG! Hooray! Even with going out for The President's baseball team party, he was dry until bedtime. We might have turned a corner...but seriously, I deserved it.

Thoughts Before Naptime

I am only half-functional today, so read at your own risk. The boys & I spent the day at an amusement/ water park yesterday. It was so much fun, but I am exhausted beyond belief. Here are some random thoughts for your entertainment:

1. Should I become independently wealthy, one of the first things I am going to do is to hire a full-time nanny/personal assistant. I took our regular babysitter with us to "funland" yesterday & got a taste of how the other half lives. How much more could I enjoy my kids with some full-time help? And, it wasn't just having someone around to do the grunt work, it's little things like passing out snacks (that I usually do while I drive) that made life so much easier. I could easily see the job transitioning into someone to be my helper when the kids no longer needed hands-on care. (I'm talking about this like it's actually going to happen...)

2. If you saw me at the Wal-Marts a while ago, let me apologize if I frightened you. I know I look rough today, but it's Wal-Mart, okay?

3. While we were out, we needed to grab some lunch. The President wanted to have Chinese. When he has eaten Chinese, it has almost always been a buffet where he could try little bits & pieces of different things. I didn't know what he might order from the nearby menu-order only place, so I was describing things he might like. I said, "You would probably like sweet & sour chicken. It's fried chicken that you dip into a red sauce, kind of like chicken nuggets." He said, "Mom, I can't order American at a Chinese place...that would be disrespecting their flag." Well, duh, why didn't I think of that? We went to McDonald's because a) Fat Baby didn't want Chinese b)it's in the Wal-Mart, and c)I was ready to come home & be slovenly.

4. Potty-gate is still going strong. Fat Baby is very soon going to be four. years. old. He's not so much into the big boys go potty thing. At all. I am now potty trained--I go every 30 minutes and force him to tinkle. (Which he will do, but it has to be my idea). He has never(!) initiated a trip to the potty. Seriously. This is getting old. He is wearing underwear every day, and it is a constant battle to keep him dry. Lately, the pull-up he wears to sleep has been leaking. Big time. Not fun when said 4-year-old happens to be in your bed at the time. It was just what his diapers would do each time I had to move up to the next size. Luckily, there are Good Nights that go up to 65 pounds, because that's what he's going to be wearing tonight. And during the day, I'll just wash underpants until the cows come home and until he figures out how this all works. (Disclaimer: I did have a child who was completely potty trained with no accidents two weeks after his 3rd birthday, so this is not all my fault!) Fun times!

Cheap and Easy

My new lifestyle make-over is going great. It takes my type-A tendencies, love of lists, planning, and organization and smooshes it all together with saving money (a new concept, no?), quality family time, and stress reduction. I am still on board.

It took a pretty good chunk of time Saturday, but I planned my menu for the week, and then reviewed all the sale flyers, to see where I should shop for the best deals. I ended up with three grocery stops, but after spending $175.55 total, I saved $66.31!

Here's the scoop...I shopped Wal-Mart for probably 75% of my items. Paper towels, snack foods, and basic canned goods and other staple items will be cheaper there most of the time. But my local W-M store's produce and meat are horrible. I won't buy either there. I only saved a little $$ at Wal-Mart with coupons (try coupons.com) so my biggest savings was $1.50 off swim diapers. (Tell me about it...Fat Baby should totally not even need them any more...but you try to tell him not to poop in the YMCA pool & see how that works out for you!)

Then, I hit Winn-Dixie for my meat and produce needs. I bought two chuck roasts at $23 and change...buy one get one free. They were GINORMOUS--so, I made the investment, cut them in half, and have one for this week (recipe below) and now have THREE MORE servings in the freezer. I also bought country style ribs on buy one-get one, (more freezer stocking) which Pop will barbecue to sheer perfection!

Finally, Food World has 12-pack cans of coke products, 4 for $11. They also had a coupon in their flyer for $2 off milk (huge score!) when you buy two boxes of poptarts (2 for $5). Now, I'm stocked up with "emergency" breakfast-on-the-go food, and cheap milk.

I told My Baby's Daddy that it seemed kooky to go to three different grocery stores like some crazy coupon freak. He reminded me of the Dave Ramsey motto, "Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else." True that. Besides, all the stores are close to home and each other. I didn't really go out of my way. And by shopping on a Saturday---no kids to schlep in and out, it was pretty quick. I also had a really good list.

Here's the menu for the week, with a great easy recipe.

Sunday: grilled pork chops, rice pilaf, green beans
Monday: spaghetti with meat sauce, salad
Tuesday: country style ribs, cole slaw, corn
Wednesday: crock pot barbecue sandwiches, chips
Thursday: BLTs or gumbo (in freezer from great restaurant at the beach)
Friday: beef brisket (barbecued by Pop...yum-already in freezer) or dinner out




Crock Pot Barbecue
· 3 c. chopped celery
· 1 c. chopped onion
· 1 c. ketchup
· 1 c. barbecue sauce
· 1 c. water
· 2 Tbsp. vinegar
· 2 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
· 2 Tbsp. brown sugar
· 1 tsp. chili powder
· 1 tsp. salt
· ½ tsp. pepper
· ½ tsp. garlic powder
· 3-4 lb. boneless chuck roast

Combine all ingredients except roast in slow cooker. Mix well and add roast to mixture. Cover. Cook on high 6-7 hours. Remove roast, cool and shred meat. Return to sauce and heat well. Serve on hamburger buns.

This is so very easy and yummy. It's great for a group, and always gets rave reviews.

Edited to add: This is a great website with unlimited resources for organizing your world!

Back...by popular demand

Kind of. My friend Amy e-mailed to say she missed the blog. Only then did I realize another month had passed without a post. I am constantly blogging in my head. Too bad I didn't get it on here, y'all have missed some great stuff!

Indulge me a little while I catch you up with all the latest Southern Fried Family happenings.

I traveled out of state alone with the boys for the first time the 4th of July. My Baby's Daddy had some previous work commitments that kept him from being able to attend a great holiday weekend at my aunt's house on the lake. The road trip was pretty smooth, but being the only parent on hand with Fat Baby loose on an open body of water...not so much fun. I did get some great photos & memories...which I've been scrapbooking in my head. (I've accomplished a lot in my head, if not in real life!)

My Baby's Daddy & I enjoyed mindless appointment television by watching The Bachelorette this season. As long as creepy, stalker Jeremy didn't win I was okay with any other choice she made in the final three. I was relieved when she sent Graham home, too. She was so trying to make him be something he wasn't just because he was smokin' hot-a-licious. Eye candy does not a relationship make. I was rooting for Jason, but I'm okay with Jesse, especially since they did a little something with his hair.

In light of the recent sucky economy, I've been really paying attention to our spending and wasteful or unnecessary habits this summer. I sacrificed monthly pedicures in the name of economizing, and My Baby's Daddy gave up our lawn treatment service. I know I watch way too much Jon & Kate Plus 8, but I think that anything that works for a family of 10 could also benefit my family of 5. She feeds her family organic foods as much as possible, and takes a little time & effort to not just give them cheap crap.

One thing that really makes things easier for me is planning menus. I found a template on this website for simple menu planning. It makes shopping more efficient & helps my week flow more smoothly. I write any scheduled events on that day's grid (baseball 6:00 p.m., picnic lunch at pool, etc.) So I can look over the week & see that dinner should be easy & early on Tuesday, and I need to have sandwich ingredients on hand for Monday and Wednesday. Since I usually work on Tuesdays, I try to plan a dinner with left-overs Monday night to take for lunch. I've also been concentrating on using the perishable items I purchase each week. I actually made banana bread on Sunday rather than letting some fruit go bad & throwing it away.

I really feel good about making things fresh for my family instead of buying the quickest (and almost always less healthy) alternatives. It did occur to me in thinking about this lifestyle make-over....Kate is kind of forced to be at home all the darn time. Not the Southern Fried boys & me...if we get the house clean, we've gotta hit the door before somebody (or two somebodies) trashes it again. We like to get out & do things together. It's very do-able to participate in lots of fun activities with only two boys. If it took half the day to load my brood of kids in the car, I'd probably find more fun things to do with them at home. (They'd probably get more hot breakfasts & home-made treats, too....Monkey Munch anyone?)

Finally, we just celebrated The President's 8th birthday. We hosted a sleep-over with 6 boys. It was great! Even though my outdoor activities were rained out, they still had a blast. There was a karaoke talent show, movies, and lots of video games. I had the cutest red & white striped popcorn boxes for movie time...and the biggest hit of the evening was the make-your-own trail mix. I labeled red plastic cups with each boy's name & they could fill it with their choice of cereal, marshmallows, goldfish, raisins, gummy worms, milk duds, m&ms, etc. We all had so much fun. After a pancake breakfast, all the boys were picked up by 10:00 a.m.

On his actual birthday, The Pres wanted to make a new Build-a-Bear for his gift from us. So, we did that & had lunch at a Japanese steakhouse (also his choice). We were seated with a couple of older ladies who were less than thrilled to be sharing our festivities. One of them said, "Cute kids." Just like that. That was the extent of their enthusiasm. Even after Fat Baby walked in & said, "Excuse me wadies....it's the President's birthday!" How could they resist?

Summer Fun with Fat Baby

I've been really making an effort to enjoy this summer with my boys. Last year was a blur, with one family crisis after another. Now things are moving along quite smoothly, and I'm much more able to consistently spend time with the boys. Our church has summer field trips for the children on Wednesdays, so we spent the day at Pump It Up today. (In case you aren't lucky enough to have a Pump It Up in your area...think big empty room full of inflatable jumpy things, obstacle courses, etc. with plenty of staff to supervise. Fabulous.) Since I am the coolest mom ever, I was all up in the bouncy house, and loved the rush of the giant slide. I think times like this are what make great memories for me & for them. I've been concentrating on just slowing down & living in the moment with them. (I'll go back & re-read this post when I'm online researching boarding schools for Fat Baby for K-4!)

While I'm making notes of my infinite blessings, I have to take a few minutes to also record some of my favorite summer Fat Baby moments. His personality is really emerging (the toddler version of Jim Belushi?) and he is always making me laugh...when he is not making me curse or drink.

While we were on the beach a couple of weeks ago, he walked up to a recently vacated beach chair in the middle of a girls' beach trip and proceeded to make himself the center of their universe. Since they were all moms, they completely understood. He was a hit--especially when he declared, "I like boobies!"

Also at the beach, he dipped his toe into the edge of the hot tub where I was sitting. He said, "Ouch! That's too hot!" And then he started blowing the hot tub to cool it off.

He has a very unique way of expressing himself...besides the fact that he has a big, booming voice. I am often asked, "Mom, who dat wittle guy is?" instead of "Who's that little guy?" He also says, "Can I will..." For example, "Can I will go outside?" or "Can I will have a cookie?" I love that one. The remote control is called the r-mote (pronounced are-moat), and he holds up the number three with his index finger, middle finger, and pinky. (Most people hold up index, middle, and ring finger). Oh, and a zebra---it's a BREEZA around here!

Give me a break...really.

We're on Spring Break. Hooray! I do so enjoy a break...of course, if Christmas break is any indication it's not much of a break for me. I don't like to travel during Spring Break, because I don't want to waste a trip on iffy weather. I will however, plan non-stop days o' fun. Here's how our week is shaping up:

Friday a.m.: take everybody to school and frantically clean house and make sure all the linens are clean for sleepover guests (before I go to work)

2:40 p.m., Friday: Spring Break offically begins when school is out.

Around 3:45 p.m.: My mom, step-father, sister, nephew and niece arrive for a visit. Since I worked (outside the home!) on Friday, I opted for us to go out to dinner instead of cooking.

Saturday a.m.: make delicious and healthy fruit salad for breakfast, color 5 dozen hard-boiled eggs with kids for egg hunt later in the day, stuff plastic "prize eggs," organize treats and prizes

Noon-ish: prepare for a late lunch (hamburgers & hotdogs on the grill), hide and hunt eggs, and again...and again....lots of fun memories & photo ops, finally have lunch about 3:00

6:00 p.m.: family leaves...na na na na hey hey hey goodbye!

6:01 p.m. until bedtime: frantically try to restore some semblance of order to house

Monday: leave kids home (thanks, Pop!) so I can work a few hours. Pop gets combat pay for taking them to McD's on Spring Break.

This morning, 11:00 a.m.: leave the house for mandatory shopping, as we have Easter on Sunday and a wedding to attend Saturday...I put off the two hardest to fit (Fat Baby and moi) until the very. last. minute.

12:30 p.m.: My Baby's Daddy meets us for lunch, and takes a little extra time to entertain the troops while I try some things on.

1:45 p.m.: Time to say good-bye to daddy, and I've purchased an outfit & a back-up. Feeling pretty good.

About 2:15 p.m.: Cut the brothers some slack & take time-out for a carousel ride. (Thanks, Mommy!)

2:30 p.m.: Hit the children's section of my favorite department store for Fat Baby's spring wardrobe. Score some cute (on sale!) and fabulously preppy things that help me forget that I'm in mourning that The Era of The Jon-Jon is over. I loved the jon jon...dress it up, dress it down, wear it for play, for church, barefoot, with shoes, and with a monogram...forget it! It just doesn't get better than that! That boy could work a jon jon like nobody's business! Why don't they make jon jons in size 6 for a three-and-a-half year old?!?! Ummm, okay, never mind.

3:30 p.m.: Leaving the mall. Fat Baby's eyes are closed before we even leave the parking lot. Less than 5 minutes later, he begins to cry/moan with no tears and his eyes still closed. I thought he was uncomfortable & couldn't get to sleep.

3:40 p.m.: Fat Baby tosses his cookies. A lot.

3:42 p.m.: Pull into a Texaco station to attempt cleanup effort.

3:50 p.m.: Leave Texaco with pukey clothes tied up in shopping bag. Fat Baby asleep by 3:51.

6:00 p.m.: My family gets BLTs for dinner, with Oscar Meyer ready-to-cook bacon that I make My Baby's Daddy heat in the microwave. They better be glad they even got to eat.

Tomorrow's plan may include seeing the doctor, and definitely includes seeing a matinee of Horton Hears a Who! I'm not going to let a little throwing up stop me...oh, and three diarrhea diapers (about 5:15, 7:00, and 15 minutes ago).

Tomorrow night I plan to make Easter forgotten cookies. I'll post the recipe next time, because if you're even still reading this now you deserve a medal. Anyway, the cookies are cool and teach children the Easter story as they bake them.

Friday, we're taking a little side road trip to the Georgia Aquarium. Then a distant family wedding (also in GA) on Saturday. Come home late Saturday, Easter Bunny shows up, up Sunday for church...did I mention it's my week to teach Sunday school?!? and then Easter. Oh, and I guess we'll need a special family Easter lunch celebration...

When does school start back?

Tragedy

Finally, a long overdue maintenance day. I managed to weasel out of the house shortly after My Baby's Daddy headed out to Cracker Barrel with both boys (God bless him!) for their traditional Saturday morning Man Breakfast. Floating on the promise of a day of freedom, I headed to the gym. Because even though my nature is best suited to a day of luxury and pampering, my ass needs me to get on the treadmill twice a day until swimsuit season. And truly, once I get in the groove I do enjoy working out. I also enjoy buying smaller clothes. So there.

After the gym (and requisite bottled water consumption), my next stop was Sonic for a heavenly 44 ounce diet coke with fresh squeezed lime. It's a good day to be me.

Until.

I signed in at the pedicure place & started looking around for Misty. A cute and sweet little Asian Monet, Misty has been responsible for such masterpieces as the snowmen on my big toes for Christmas, and the blingy rhinestone daisies I sported at the beach last year. But honestly, I was kind of over the whole artistic factor & was going to have my French pedi converted into some good old traditional OPI in a fabulous shade of red. Sure, anyone can do a plain old pedicure, but I would totally ask that girl to marry me for her massage techniques.

Me: Is Misty not here today? (unheard of on Saturday a.m.)

Cute little Asian guy who always remembers my name: Misty is gone.

Me: Well, when will she be back?

Cute Asian guy: She's gone...she had to move to Atlanta with her husband's job.

Me: (On the floor, crying) Noooooooooo! She can't leave me!!!!

Cute Asian guy: We'll take care of you, I promise.

Me: Sniff.

Though the leg and foot massage wasn't Misty-caliber, I have to confess, my nails are indeed fabulous. I hope it stays warm so I can wear flip flops. I loooooove flip-flops. And being barefoot. And summer. I'm ready for spring.

After the pedicure, I hit the tanning bed which was also blissful. Came home, took a bath, and am already lounging in my pjs.

AND Fat Baby & I are flying solo tonight...so if I can sedate him, it will be blogs, books, and early bedtime!

Boo, Y'all!

I am up to my eyeballs getting ready for various classroom festivities. There is a room-mother who I think has potential, but I'm pretty sure I can take her...

Happy Trick or Treats, everybody! If you need me, I'll be plundering through the boys' bags for the good stuff! I'm so going to need a big drink when tomorrow is over!

Martha Stewart wishes she were me...or how to completely overcommit yourself

So, Friday was My Baby's Daddy's birthday! In honor of the occasion, I baked him this cake.







It is a yummy, completely from scratch Italian Cream Cake. The first time I ever tried it. It was absolutely fab-u-lous. I look forward to enjoying a huge wedge of it while I watch the season premiere of Desperate Housewives tonight. (The show has gone downhill since season one, yet I still need to know what happens--go figure).

I also cooked a delicious birthday meal for hubby (okay, for the rest of us, too because you know I love to cook & I love good food). I made a marinade for grilled pork chops with hot pepper jelly, white wine & fresh basil (recipe from Southern Living-first time to try it). They were pretty good. Our grill ran out of gas halfway through, so we had to finish up inside.

To go with the chops, I made a cheese grit casserole (also from Southern Living-also my first time to make it) which was the bomb! This is also the first time you can Google cheese grits and actually hear me talking about cheese grits. The recipe had 10 oz. of fresh grated sharp cheddar and 4 oz. of fresh grated Gouda. YUMMMY! Definitely a do-over.

We had yeast dinner rolls (from the frozen section--what do you think I am superwoman?!?!) and a Strawberry and Hearts of Palm salad with a homemade dressing that rocks the house. I've made it tons of times, and it is always great. (You can find the recipe on Food Network's website--it's a Paula Deen recipe).

AND....Pop and I (okay, mostly Pop) recovered the dining room chairs on Friday. Our table and chairs belonged to my husband's grandfather, and I don't know if the chairs have ever been recovered. I replaced the traditional, threadbare fabric (on the right) with some fun, retro fabric that I had to have. It's so me.





And in a final display of domestic splendor, I made two "Oh Boy Cheesecakes" for a church bake-off today, and won first place in my division.

Last night, I made My Baby's Daddy take me out to dinner!

Crap

This morning, I found myself feeling creative & with a few minutes to spare. So I made a little note with scrapbook paper & stickers to go in The President's lunchbox. It said, "YOU ROCK! Have a great day. I love you, Mom"
(I occasionally surprise him with a little note. One day last year, he sent the note back & had written "Thanck you" on the back) I pretty much forgot about it until I picked him up this afternoon & some little punkass kid says, "The President hated that note you sent today."

Well, my sweet and sensitive first born just absolutely lost it. He began sobbing and saying, "No I didn't Mom...I LOVED it! I really did, Mom. It was a great note & I loved it."

I didn't have time to talk to the teacher (until later this evening at our PTO meeting), but she did reprimand the child & remind him that "we've already discussed this at snack time."

I was heartbroken for my son, and hopeful that my well-intentioned note hadn't caused him to be ridiculed. Mostly though, I was pissed. Kids are so mean. I told The Pres that if he still wanted me to send surprise notes I would. And maybe there might just be an extra surprise...like cash or chocolate, so he could taunt the kid & say, "Yeah, I really hate it that my mom sent me this special note!!!

I have PMS, too. I am ready to put on my pjs and enjoy Dancing With the Stars.

Oh, and Fat Baby put his hands down the back of his pants and finger-painted with poop today.

Shameless Plug, Potty Training Woes, and Google

In keeping with the theme of Extreme Home Makeover, Southern Fried Family edition, I have decided that I need to re-decorate my existing home, and plan the decorating of my upcoming new home. Because I basically want 90% of the stuff in the catalog, I decided to do this. I became a consultant to re-coup the money I spent on the starter kit, and to earn some more fabulous stuff for my own home. If you want to have a virtual home show...let me know! I'll be more than happy to get you the info.
You, too can become an honorary Southerner--the merchandise can be shipped anywhere, so even my Yankee friends can participate! Check it out, and place an order! Seriously. You know it's calling you.

Secondly, this so-called potty training business...I shamelessly admit that The President was trained by the daycare & I backed it up at home. Easy-peasy. He was also the over-acheiving, compliant first born. So, here I am with #2 (who is my "challenging" child) sitting day in & day out in the bathroom every time he says, "I'm pooping!" (This means any number of things: "Hey, I pooped--now clean it up!" or "I need to poop, and have a skid mark, but when you sit me on the throne, I'll squeeze my cheeks back together and force it back up" or maybe, "I'm about to mess with your head, mom! You are my puppet!") He seems to have no concept of tee-tee. He doesn't tell you he's done it (even when he's half naked & does it on the floor in the kitchen; in fact, I don't think know he does it. I have spent more time camping out in the potty than I ever did with the Pres & he still doesn't seem to know or care what it's all about. Whatever. I never met a grown-up who wasn't potty trained.

I've been meaning to post some of the "interesting" Google searches that led people to this blog:

tonsil cheese pictures--ewwwwwwww! That's just dis-gust-ing! Yuck.

get my swell on at the gym--and you ended up here?!?!

Hannah Montana boobies--shout out to my 11 year old readers!

naked Southern moms--uh, yeah....hate to disappoint you. Just for fun, I'd almost do it. I guarantee the perv would be careful what wished for next time!

Keepin' It Real

I rushed out to a meeting last night. It was the end of a long, frazzled, blazing hot day. I don't think I even took the time to brush my teeth & reapply lipstick after dinner, because I was running late. After the meeting, I spoke to a very sweet (and cute, and skinny) acquaintance of mine who also serves on the board. She was dressed in her "grown-up" career clothes & I had on a casual but cute sleveless top & denim bermuda shorts. Okay, everyone does tell me that the particular blouse is the best color evah for me...but, still. Long, crazy, freakin' hawt day. Sweet friend looks adorable & fresh as a daisy (as usual). After the meeting, she rushes up to me and says, "Oh, my GOSH...you look fabulous!!! I need to be doing whatever you've been doing! You look great!"

The only difference I can see is a few extra pounds, a leftover tan, and the flat-ironed hair. I tell you, I'm on to something with this straight hair thing. Oh yeah, and the stress. This has been the most traumatic, difficult, stressful, and life-changing year I've ever faced. I can literally feel myself aging.

But, this really cute and perky girl is standing here telling me how great I look. And you know what? I started to feel great. My long-ish, straight-ish hair felt all bouncy. I remembered I was in my A-game shirt. Yeah, I do look kind of great....I couldn't wait to get home & stand in front of the mirror to examine myself for signs of cuteness.

Of course, I was greeted with bath time on a School Night. Cute Girl suddenly turns back into Sweaty, Wilting Cess Pool of Motherhood. Oh yeah, and Fat Baby crapped in the tub. After I clean it out, get him back in and bathed, he begins to poke around my arm flab. He investivates the fat-dimples and asks, "Boo-boos?"

Thanks for bringing things back into perspective, Fat Baby.

About Being a Mom

Just in time for Mother's Day, Mamma tagged me for this meme. It's really not a Mother's Day meme...it's called Chinese Freeze Tag. I have no idea why. The idea is you list ten random things about yourself, and then tag ten others. I don't know ten people who haven't done this yet, so to I randomly tag the ten who haven't. I decided to do a Mother's Day theme, because

#1. It is Mother's Day & I was planning to write about it anyway.

#2. I was tagged by Mamma from Mamma Loves.

#3. I love a theme, and I've written so much beach & booze stuff lately, I thought y'all might like to see another side of me.

Southern Fried Mom's Ten Thoughts on Motherhood:

1. I could never imagine myself as the mother of boys. I grew up with only a sister, and I was never into getting dirty, playing sports, and gross stuff. Now that I have two boys, I would have another in a heartbeat. Boys rock!

2. Two children can share the same DNA, be raised in the same environment with the same parents, and be complete opposites...and yet you love them exactly the same.

3. Plenty of things that I said or thought, "I would never...." do as a parent--I've done. More than once.

4. Even if you don't agree with another mom's parenting style, you can always learn something from her.

5. I've been a working-outside-the-home mom and a stay-home mom, and a working-part-time-from home mom...none of it is easy. It's also totally worth it.

6. The Daddy will never do it "just like Mom." That's job security! (But sometimes it sucks).

7. The hours between 4 p.m. and bedtime are pure and total hell.

8. There is nothing better than: holding a chubby dimpled hand, kissing a fuzzy little head, the quiet moment of snuggling before bed, a spontaneous "I love you", the warmth of their cheeks when they're still pink from sleep, the first time you hear "mama", sharing a soggy cheerio, watching them learn, watching your children play and laugh together, hugs and kisses.

9. There is nothing harder than: worrying about a healthy delivery, the first day of kindergarten, sleepless nights, catching throw-up in your hand, watching them try something and fail, grocery shopping with a two-year old who needs a nap, letting them be independent, knowing that one day some sassy little girl is going to have your son wrapped around her finger.

10. My own mother is smarter than I thought!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!!!

Back to reality

• Take Pop to the orthopedic surgeon to schedule impending back surgery--check

• Take Fat Baby to the doctor with impending ear infection--check

• Glob Abreva all over the two massive fever blisters covering my bottom lip--check

• Discover that My Baby's Daddy hired a babysitter to go to the dog track while I was away--check

• Realize that since I've lost my voice & I'm totally exhausted, I don't even have the inclination to fight about it--check

• Attend Teacher Appreciation Lunch at the President's school--check

• Refill Zoloft prescription--check

Welcome home, Mom!!!

Show me the money!

I've been back & forth to the hospital (a little over an hour away), checking on my Dad for the past three days. Yesterday and today, My Baby's Daddy had the boys at home. For future reference, I thought I should record a statement he made to me last night.

"You do not get paid enough!!!!"

Well, no shit...what do you think I've been telling you?!? Apparently "seeing is believing," especially when it comes to Fat Baby. Everything you've heard about two year olds...he's all that and more! While you're busy doing one thing, he's busy un-doing about three things you've already done. Today he discovered that he could grab a stool & pull it up to the counter in the kitchen, climb onto the counter, and reach the Valentine's candy stashed on top of the fridge. He's quite resourceful. And persistent.

And he's sweet. Today, he counted to five for the first time. He also climbed into my lap this morning, when I was having a meltdown, and patted away my tears with his chubby little hands.

Breaking news, as we speak: My Baby's Daddy just called me to come to the boys' bathroom. When The President got out of the bathtub, he left the water in. In less than 3 minutes, Fat Baby had climbed into the tub in his pajamas! Now we have to get him ready for bed all over again.

I know I should appreciate this crazy time in my life, because it will pass so quickly. I've read that these are the longest days, but the shortest years. It is hard to be a mom, to try to keep all the balls in the air, to do the right thing, to be able to laugh instead of crying, to be a nurse, teacher, chef, chauffeur, events coordinator, maid and personal assistant. I want my children to learn by my example (hopefully more good than bad). At the end of the day, I hope that they know that I did the very best I could, and that being their mom is the greatest blessing I've ever known. Blessings don't always come easy. Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever loved!


A little extra cash would be nice, too.