Biggest Loser Rants

As promised, here's my two cents on the Biggest Loser. I can't believe I hadn't posted about the show earlier. This is the first Biggest Loser season I've watched, and it was DVR appointment television for me & My Baby's Daddy. I really liked so many of the contestants, and having battled weight issues myself, I am truly rooting for them all to be successful. That being said...

I thought Mark was going to be an a-hole. But then, he has become one of my favorites. In fact, I hope that he or Roger wins. Kelly is whiny and mealy-mouthed about everything. She doesn't have a positive attitude to me. She was one of my early favorites, but I do think she has been extremely lucky to even still be there.

Being a woman who has struggled with her weight, I would totally love for a woman to win...but...

Alli drives me freaking nuts. She has that flat, valley girl inflection when she talks. And she completely looks like a troll doll. You know I'm telling the truth. My Baby's Daddy is tired of hearing me scream, "She looks like a TROLL!!!!!" for two hours every week. He will be glad when it is over. But seriously. Go to the website & look. Tell me that girl doesn't look like a troll.

And speaking of Alli's that get on my nerves....I also can't stand the host of the show. That Alli has this stupid smirk the whole episode. And the dramatic and unnatural pauses she throws in! It kills me. I really want to slap that smirk off her face. It looks like she's trying not to laugh.

There are several reasons I'm rooting for Roger. First of all, he played football at the University of Alabama. The President is (of his own making) an obsessed Alabama fan. How can we not pull for the home team? Unfortunately my own alma mater recently fired Roger as assistant athletic director while he was on leave for the show. I'm pissed off at them. Not to mention how stupid it was from a PR perspective. You could've had a homecoming in your stadium with lots of national coverage about your employee & his success...the timing sucks for both Roger & the dumbasses who missed a great opportunity to showcase their athletic program. I love Roger's team spirit & his hard work. He has lost more weight on campus than any other contestant.

Mark has grown emotionally & his journey has been awesome to watch. I would be just as happy to see him win.

I'm glad I got all that off my chest...did anybody notice I have PMS?

Crap

This morning, I found myself feeling creative & with a few minutes to spare. So I made a little note with scrapbook paper & stickers to go in The President's lunchbox. It said, "YOU ROCK! Have a great day. I love you, Mom"
(I occasionally surprise him with a little note. One day last year, he sent the note back & had written "Thanck you" on the back) I pretty much forgot about it until I picked him up this afternoon & some little punkass kid says, "The President hated that note you sent today."

Well, my sweet and sensitive first born just absolutely lost it. He began sobbing and saying, "No I didn't Mom...I LOVED it! I really did, Mom. It was a great note & I loved it."

I didn't have time to talk to the teacher (until later this evening at our PTO meeting), but she did reprimand the child & remind him that "we've already discussed this at snack time."

I was heartbroken for my son, and hopeful that my well-intentioned note hadn't caused him to be ridiculed. Mostly though, I was pissed. Kids are so mean. I told The Pres that if he still wanted me to send surprise notes I would. And maybe there might just be an extra surprise...like cash or chocolate, so he could taunt the kid & say, "Yeah, I really hate it that my mom sent me this special note!!!

I have PMS, too. I am ready to put on my pjs and enjoy Dancing With the Stars.

Oh, and Fat Baby put his hands down the back of his pants and finger-painted with poop today.

Who's the grown-up here?

As I have documented very well on this blog, my son, The President was born a 40 year old man. He relates very well to adults, and understands the subtle humor of sarcasm. He wants to be the president, and he is one cool kiddo. The other day he saw his latest wish fulfilled, and we had his hair highlighted. Soooo very stylin', the envy of all the other 6-year-olds. Just like his mama, he has a sassy little attitude, and his recent wardrobe reflects that. He has t-shirts that say things like "Your lips are moving, but all I hear is blah blah blah!" and "I'm the Boss of Me!" When I brought that one home, he emphatically informed me that the other kids were going to be "pissed out" because they'd be so jealous of his new threads.

Yes, my six year old said, "pissed..." and no, I didn't make a big deal out of it. We are who we are, ya know? He is just as likely to sweetly tell you how Jesus lives in his heart. We are open-minded Christians, who don't take life and ourselves too seriously. So, that's kind of my disclaimer. I don't want to offend anyone, but I'll tell you we don't sweat the small stuff around here.

The President will take any opportunity to get a chuckle out of the grown-ups...Like the other night when I said some minor league "bad word" & My Baby's Daddy was giving me a hard time about it.

All sarcastic like, he asks our son, "Why don't you say that to your teacher tomorrow & see if she thinks it's appropriate for you to hear that kind of language?"

Never missing a beat, the Pres says, "Mama acts appropriate at my school, but at home she's like, "Daaaaaaammmn...shut up!" (He mimics me in his best sassy country twang...we all have accents, but around here we are definitely among the least-twangy by far--he did it for comedic effect!)

Fast forward to last night...my boys are in the car with me, and riding shotgun is the worst case of PMS imaginable. I had an utterly frustrating cell phone conversation with My Baby's Daddy which culminated in my behaving like a raving, hormonal lunatic. When I hung up the phone, The President informed me that I had said "three bad words and two almost-bad words...but I'm going to let it slide this time because you didn't use any self-control!"

Stop the press--I've just been given a Presidential pardon!!!