What Not To Wear

The Big Week Of Fun is over. Spring Break festivities came to a screeching halt as both boys returned to school today. Woohoo. Too bad I spent the whole everloving day in a doctor's office with Pop. Seriously. The appointment should have taken an hour, hour and a half tops---FOUR AND A FREAKING HALF HOURS! I dropped Fat Baby at school, went straight there and returned home to drop off Pop twenty minutes before I was due back at the preschool. It's going to be all about me on Friday.

The wedding we attended was lovely. It was an outdoor event (very bold move this time of year, especially seeing how tornadoes ripped through the ATL just one week prior) and the weather was perfect. I was totally comfortable in a sleeveless dress with no hose. (I've been tanning for a month and a half).

I did mention that I found the perfect Southern Fried Family outfits for the day. What I don't remember telling you is that I purchased a "back-up" outfit, so I would have two to choose from. The main problem I had was that the dress I loved (and ultimately wore) was sleeveless. I wasn't sure I'd be able to find a little coordinating cardigan to wear if necessary. The back-up dress came with a matching cardigan, so I bought it to cover my bases, but later found one to go with Dress #1. I kept the back-up, because:
1)it's cute
2)it fits nicely
3)it was on sale
4)and I like to buy stuff

I didn't even take the back-up with me, because I loved Dress #1 so much. I was working Dress #1 which looked even better without the cardigan. (Hooray beautiful weather!) Just before the ceremony, as my perfectly coordinated prep-a-licious family looked on...in walked a cute and very SKINNY, younger girl in....THE BACK-UP!!!!!! I looked at My Baby's Daddy who was cracking up. I know he was thinking, "OH, Thank. You. Jesus!!!!" Because, as I told him, we would have looked like a freaking Nutri-System ad....and I would be the BEFORE picture!!!!!! Not good.

We were both very thankful for Dress #1, the un-needed cardigan, and my cute accessories at that moment. It would've been a long ride home for My Baby's Daddy if I'd been wearing the same dress as Kate Moss over there.

In other news....Fat Baby has peed in the potty almost every time I've taken him since last week!!!! HOORAY!!!!! Even with traveling, he is the bomb! It's like a light switch flipped, and now he goes potty. Next week---underwear city, baby!

And one more thing...did Atlanta officially vote itself out of the South? My Baby's Daddy grew up there & even he was amazed at the plethora of bad manners, rudeness, and don't even get me started on the road rage!!!

Give me a break...really.

We're on Spring Break. Hooray! I do so enjoy a break...of course, if Christmas break is any indication it's not much of a break for me. I don't like to travel during Spring Break, because I don't want to waste a trip on iffy weather. I will however, plan non-stop days o' fun. Here's how our week is shaping up:

Friday a.m.: take everybody to school and frantically clean house and make sure all the linens are clean for sleepover guests (before I go to work)

2:40 p.m., Friday: Spring Break offically begins when school is out.

Around 3:45 p.m.: My mom, step-father, sister, nephew and niece arrive for a visit. Since I worked (outside the home!) on Friday, I opted for us to go out to dinner instead of cooking.

Saturday a.m.: make delicious and healthy fruit salad for breakfast, color 5 dozen hard-boiled eggs with kids for egg hunt later in the day, stuff plastic "prize eggs," organize treats and prizes

Noon-ish: prepare for a late lunch (hamburgers & hotdogs on the grill), hide and hunt eggs, and again...and again....lots of fun memories & photo ops, finally have lunch about 3:00

6:00 p.m.: family leaves...na na na na hey hey hey goodbye!

6:01 p.m. until bedtime: frantically try to restore some semblance of order to house

Monday: leave kids home (thanks, Pop!) so I can work a few hours. Pop gets combat pay for taking them to McD's on Spring Break.

This morning, 11:00 a.m.: leave the house for mandatory shopping, as we have Easter on Sunday and a wedding to attend Saturday...I put off the two hardest to fit (Fat Baby and moi) until the very. last. minute.

12:30 p.m.: My Baby's Daddy meets us for lunch, and takes a little extra time to entertain the troops while I try some things on.

1:45 p.m.: Time to say good-bye to daddy, and I've purchased an outfit & a back-up. Feeling pretty good.

About 2:15 p.m.: Cut the brothers some slack & take time-out for a carousel ride. (Thanks, Mommy!)

2:30 p.m.: Hit the children's section of my favorite department store for Fat Baby's spring wardrobe. Score some cute (on sale!) and fabulously preppy things that help me forget that I'm in mourning that The Era of The Jon-Jon is over. I loved the jon jon...dress it up, dress it down, wear it for play, for church, barefoot, with shoes, and with a monogram...forget it! It just doesn't get better than that! That boy could work a jon jon like nobody's business! Why don't they make jon jons in size 6 for a three-and-a-half year old?!?! Ummm, okay, never mind.

3:30 p.m.: Leaving the mall. Fat Baby's eyes are closed before we even leave the parking lot. Less than 5 minutes later, he begins to cry/moan with no tears and his eyes still closed. I thought he was uncomfortable & couldn't get to sleep.

3:40 p.m.: Fat Baby tosses his cookies. A lot.

3:42 p.m.: Pull into a Texaco station to attempt cleanup effort.

3:50 p.m.: Leave Texaco with pukey clothes tied up in shopping bag. Fat Baby asleep by 3:51.

6:00 p.m.: My family gets BLTs for dinner, with Oscar Meyer ready-to-cook bacon that I make My Baby's Daddy heat in the microwave. They better be glad they even got to eat.

Tomorrow's plan may include seeing the doctor, and definitely includes seeing a matinee of Horton Hears a Who! I'm not going to let a little throwing up stop me...oh, and three diarrhea diapers (about 5:15, 7:00, and 15 minutes ago).

Tomorrow night I plan to make Easter forgotten cookies. I'll post the recipe next time, because if you're even still reading this now you deserve a medal. Anyway, the cookies are cool and teach children the Easter story as they bake them.

Friday, we're taking a little side road trip to the Georgia Aquarium. Then a distant family wedding (also in GA) on Saturday. Come home late Saturday, Easter Bunny shows up, up Sunday for church...did I mention it's my week to teach Sunday school?!? and then Easter. Oh, and I guess we'll need a special family Easter lunch celebration...

When does school start back?

I'm older & I have better insurance...

It's a super great lazy day around the Southern Fried House today. Everyone except me & the Fat Baby are off enjoying some SEC football. We spent a few happy hours purusing a new Books a Million--heaven on earth--followed by Target. A double dose of wandering bliss. I bought a bunch of crap I didn't need. I bought many lovely, useful and wonderful things that will bring me great joy. Including three books, Monster Mash Mojito Mix (add rum & freeze--makes 20 cocktails), a new planner (because I'm an OCD, type A, planning fanatic--and it makes me happy happy), and some fabulous hooks for the boys' room to hang their backpacks on. Finally. (Have been looking for those for months).

When the window of opportunity for fun-time-with-a-preschooler was closing, and we were leaving the Tar-jay, I began to back out of my parking space just as I always do. Car in reverse, foot on break, creep back, and check rearview and side mirrors. I almost always have my kids in the car, and their safety is #1 priority with me. Driving the big ole Honda Oddysey doesn't inspire reckless abandon--ummm, kay? Anyway, as I was doing my preliminary ease back I heard somebody honk their horn. At moi?!?! No one could have been more careful than I at that moment. (I do admit that I am by no means the best driver around, but I do. not. take unnecessary chances with my kids). I look around to see the source of the rudeness. Three skinny little heifers who barely look old enough to drive. She was probably sitting on phone book to see over the wheel. I caught the whole "mean girls" look, and the whole, "look how cool I am--I can honk at some mom in a minivan."

Pissed me off. I thought about flipping her off, but what kind of example would that be to Fat Baby. (And besides I was afraid he'd do it at church tomorrow if he saw me do it). So, pulled out & passed them, I looked the driver straight in the eye and smiled (fake, bouncy cheerleader smile) and waved my ass off. They probably thought I knew their mom. Whatever. They all looked very perplexed, but I'm sure they will think about the attitude next time. Nah, probably not. I'm going to do my "I Don't Have a Girl" Dance now.

I'm a 'Ho

That's right...my new business cards say, "Will blow for beach trip money!" Even with a clientele of one, business is booming! My Baby's Daddy is happy, I'm happy--it's a win/ win situation. Let me just tell you something, girls...if you want to enjoy a little guilt-free spending, just invest about 10 minutes of quality time with your man....Then spend the entire afternoon SHOPPING!!! I bought six new outfits today. I'm just saying....