All you ever wanted to know about me, and then some!

1. I am 35 years old, and it rocks! I know enough to keep me out of serious trouble, but I'm still young enough to have a good time.


2. I have been a working (outside the home) mom and a working (stay at home) mom. They are both hard for different reasons.


3. Right now I am a stay at home mom who does a little freelance work.


4. I love armchair psychology!


5. I don't leave the house in the summer without my toenails done.


6. I love love love diet coke with lime from the Sonic! (It's even better with a big shot of Malibu rum...)


7. I lost over 100 pounds after I had my second child.


8. It wasn't all baby weight, by far!


9. I did it all without surgery, only through diet and exercise.


10. My baby did weigh over 9 pounds.


11. I had a C-section.


12. Twice.


13. I would do it again.


14. The c-section was not nearly as bad as having my tonsils out at age 28.


15. People tell me I'm funny.



16. Now I can't think of anything funny to say.


17. I have naturally curly hair.



18. It was precious when I was a toddler...now, not so much.




19. I would rather read a book than just about anything else.




20. I love to cook. I once had a 90-ish volunteer at the non-profit agency where I worked say, "You can tell she's a good cook by looking at her!"




21. I thought it was funny.




22. I plan to say whatever I want to when I am an old lady.




23. I used to want to escape my roots because of the grossly inaccurate stereotype that Southerners are stupid.




24. I found out stupid people are everywhere, and being Southern is cool.




25. My dad & I butted heads constantly when I was growing up.




26. I turned out to be a whole lot like him...




27. I met my best friend when we were 13 years old.




28. We only lived in the same town for one year, but we've remained a major part of each other's lives through writing, phone calls, and visits.




29. I love unlimited long distance.




30. I have expensive taste and a cheap husband.




31. I am not an excessive spender, and I pride myself on not being unnecessarily frivolous.




32. My husband & I complement each other very well.




33. We've been happily married for almost 12 years.




34. If I stay on anti-depressants & he stays on ADD medication, we'll probably remain happily married.




35. I put together a family cookbook & surprised everyone with copies for Christmas one year. It was the best gift I ever gave, and their responses were amazing.







36. I'm working on Volume 2 of the cookbook right now.




37. The day I brought Fat Baby home from the hospital, something inside me changed like a light switch flipping; and I haven't been the same since.




38. Post partum depression really should not last three years.




39. I have experienced major life changes in the last three years--becoming full-time, stay home mom, husband changed jobs, my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease, and recently some devastating family losses...I'm sure these have contributed to my anxiety and depression.




40. Recently, The President told me, "You're not joyful anymore, Mom....when I was three you were joyful all the time." He didn't know how true that was.
41. I guess it's time for me to write my "depression post."




42. I try to keep a positive attitude & keep moving forward. I always say, "it's harder to hit a moving target!"




43. I'd rather be funny than sad.




44. I'm very outgoing and social, but I have to have my "down time."




45. I am very content just to hang out at home with my kids.




46. I also enjoy taking them out to lunch or on an outing by ourselves...sometimes when you introduce more mommies/ more children it is more trouble than it's worth!




47. Right now I'm listening to Hannah Montana sing, "The Best of Both Worlds" on the mp3 player...thank you, Mr. President!







48. I was born on Friday the 13th.







49. At 2:22 a.m.







50. I usually have good luck on Friday the 13th.







51. But I'm not especially superstitious.







52. I am a Christian.







53. I was raised Baptist, but I'm in recovery.







54. I've decided that I'm a much better Methodist than Baptist.







55. My motto is "God knows what I'm thinking, so I might as well say it!"







56. I don't like confrontation.







57. #56 does not apply to My Baby's Daddy....I feel so safe with him that I will confront up one side and down the other--just ask him!







58. But I don't say or do things in anger to purposely hurt him. I believe that once it's out there, it can never be taken back.







59. I also try to treat my children with the respect I want them to show me.







60. With most other people, I tend to just internalize my feelings. I would say I'm passive aggressive.







61. I probably need to be in therapy.







62. When do I have time for therapy?







63. I am very self-aware.







64. This list is getting to serious for me...I'm going to think of some fun stuff now!







65. Once for a costume party in college, my roommate duct taped my boobs together. Gave me fabulous cleavage, but hurt like a sonofabitch coming off.







66. I was glad to be highly intoxicated when the duct tape came off.







67. My roommates were nearly evicted after my 21st birthday party. It was awesome!







68. My Baby's Daddy was out of town for the party, but sent me a dozen roses...and we hadn't even been out on a date yet.







69. The guy I had been going out with got me a card & probably hooked up with another girl after my birthday party.







70. I effortlessly, unintentionally collect (mostly) worthless knowledge...tv theme songs, trivial facts, phone numbers and addresses.







71. Then I walk into a room & forget what I'm supposed to be doing.







72. My Baby's Daddy & I love our "appointment television." Some shows we've been hooked on include: Friends, Grey's Anatomy, 48 Hours Mystery, American Idol, Desperate Housewives (it's gone way downhill since the 1st season), Seinfeld, Big Brother (pregnant with The President during the first season--watched it every night with a big bowl of ice cream perched on my tummy!) and Dateline. The DVR is a member of the family!




73. I have some very particular, neurotic rules about food.





74. I don't like for my food to touch. I especially can't stand the juice from one thing running into another.





75. Combining sweet & salty things (like ice cream with potato chips) is a definite violation of the laws of food. Don't even get me started on the people who dip fries into a Wendy's frosty....ick.





76. Chocolate and mint is also a violation...Mint should be used as a breath freshener, not as a side dish to perfectly good chocolate!





77. I just rubbed my contact out...that reminds me--I just got contacts for the first time ever.





78. I wore glasses for 13 years before getting contacts.





79. I wore braces for two years when I was 13-15. They were the big "railroad track" kind.





80. I had an extremely severe overbite.





81. Now I have a nice grill.





82. I've never had a cavity.





83. I've never tried an illegal drug.





84. I've never been skinny-dipping...but I want to try it.





85. I've tried plenty of other things.



86. When I go to the movies, I must arrive early (before the previews start), sit in the center of the theater 3/4 of the way up, and remain seated for the whole show if at all possible.

87. When watching movies or tv shows at home, I must also see the entire show. I can not start a movie in the middle, and it drives me crazy when My Baby's Daddy does it. If I miss the first few words of dialogue, I will rewind.

88. I think it's perfectly fine to be neurotic, as long as you celebrate your neuroses.

89. I am a typical first-born child, with perfectionist and over-achieving tendencies.

90. I am a total planner, and list-making maniac.

91. I hate it when my well-organized, long-standing plan is suddenly thwarted.

92. Having two kids, a husband with severe ADD & a parent with early onset Alzheimer's Disease has taught me to learn to be more flexible.

93. I've also learned that blessings often come the hard way.

94. The lists have enabled me to keep some degree of sanity with four people depending on me. They are all thankful for my organizational tendencies.

95. I'm glad to be the only girl in the household....because I have more than enough hormones to go around.

96. I have one kid headed for the White House & one headed for the Big House.

97. I am headed for the Nut House.

98. Or maybe I'll just stay around here & keep blogging about it.

99. I hope you keep reading...and commenting. I think I should get 100 comments on my 100 things, don'tcha think?

100. I can't believe that I'm finally finished with this list!


(And a bonus, because this is actually my 101st post....)
101. I've been working on this here & there for over a week...well, actually I started a 100 things list when I began the blog, but never did it. So, I pulled up the old list and added about 98 things to it. I am so ready to get back to writing the daily news...thanks for reading!

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

*For those of you keeping track...this is my 100th post! (Is that all?!? It seems like she never shuts up!) I will follow blogging tradition on my next post with 101 things about me...you won't want to miss.


But today....Today is a very special day. It's the day I fell in love. Seven years ago today, my little boy, The President was born. And I became somebody's mommy. It's so funny to me now that I don't even think about being a mom anymore...it's just totally who I am, down to the very core of my soul. But back then, I did not know jack about being somebody's mom. All I knew was that I was going to hold him, and kiss him, and totally love him to pieces, and do the best job I could. When he was a teeny little bundle of softness, wrapped in layers of dreft-scented yumminess, there wasn't too much I could do to screw him up.

I mean, there was the one time...(the President loves for me to tell this story)...when he was a couple of months old that I got him out of the baby bathtub, took him over to the changing table & slathered Johnson's vapor rub all over his butt instead of Desitin. I ran right back over to the tub & dunked his little hiney in there over & over while he screamed his head off. When I stopped crying, I realized that I would probably someday make far worse mistakes where he's concerned. And I have.

After those first tedious, uncertain months, you start to let your guard down. You become more comfortable with the whole "I'm a mom" thing. Seven years later, I can hardly remember a time when I wasn't somebody's mom. It's gotten easier...and it's gotten harder.

I can barely remember his baby-hood. I mean, it only lasted like one day...The day he started kindergarten, I thought I would never recover. I had nausea and chest pains for weeks leading up to that day. But, I did recover, and I love watching him learn and grow. So, while he is now a much more independent, self-sufficient little guy...he is also facing new challenges. When he is frustrated or unhappy, my heart aches. When I am called upon to make a decision for his future, I am afraid that I won't make the best choice.


The things he does and says never fail to amaze me. I see little pieces of myself in his sassy attitude, or his righteous indignation when things don't happen exactly when and how he thinks they should. I see my dad in his serious scowl, and his quick wit. He is my husband when he is kind and patient and snuggly.

He is the best of all of us...and he is an amazing little person. We've often said he was born a 40 year old man, he has such a grown-up perspective. But to me, he will always be my baby. Happy Birthday, Mr. President! I love you!

Some Things I'm Pondering...

Does the clutter in this house mate & multiply during the night?

Why do I have to lock my children out of my room to be able to take a shower by myself?

Did My Baby's Daddy really not think there were enough dishes in the dishwasher to run it? There was only room for like 2 or 3 more items. Is that a man thing, or what?

What are we going to have for dinner...oh, that reminds me, I need to feed the kids lunch!

Why has my almost 3-year-old abandoned his lifelong perfect sleep patterns? He went from a 2-3 hour a day nap, and sleeping 8:30 p.m. to 7 a.m. to total chaos!!!! He climbs out of his bed constantly, and cries when we put him down...why?!?!! Being a good sleeper was his redeeming quality! (That, and the unbearable cuteness!)

What have I forgotten to do today? It feels like I've forgotten something...

An open letter...

To the guy at Arby's looking at me like I'm something on the bottom of your shoe,





First of all, I don't know what crawled up your ass...but I would really appreciate if when you see me & my adorable and fabulous children ordering up some lunch, you would follow the lead of 98% of the free world and smile. I mean, seriously...how could you help it? A loving, energetic, and fun mom out to lunch with her two handsome boys. It's the stuff songs are written about.





....Ohhhhhh, then was it this?





Yeah, so, I've got my kid on a harness. I can't believe it, either. See, the President was your textbook first-born, compliant, good-natured, well-behaved, over-achiever. All the positive, hyphenated words totally apply to him.



Fat Baby is the one who inspires t-shirt slogans like, "If I'd have had the second one first, he'd be an only child!" He is 110% boy. He is loud, and rough, and stubborn. He's afraid of nothing. He can be on top of the refrigerator in 8 seconds flat. Like Houdini, he can disappear in a flash. He is also gorgeous, charming, sweet, funny, snuggly, and smart. Everything comes easily to him. He is a mama's boy. I love every part of him with my whole being.



But, yeah, he's on the harness. Thank the Good Lord Up Above for the harness. I love love love the harness. It's cute. It doubles as a back-pack. He digs it. It gives him the freedom he longs for, and gives me peace of mind, knowing that we are connected and I can't lose him. Hopefully, it'll help keep him from breaking stuff and getting hurt, too.



But you know what, Mr. Have-Some-Lunch-and-Head Back-to-My-8-Hour-a-day-Job? If you were with my kids 24/7 with no lunch break, no sick days, and couldn't remember the last time you even went to the bathroom alone--you might just look for something to help make your job a little easier, too. And, I'm sure you would feel like a damn genius for thinking of it. How dare you look at my babies and me with that condescending scowl. I am raising the future leader of our country, and trying to keep his little brother from a life of crime that would cut short his political aspirations. When Fat Baby is playing for the NFL, we might just hunt you down and kick your ass. So, cut a sister some slack, would'ya?