Quick and Dirty

Ironically, this post by the Queen of the Mayhem was very timely for me this week. It seems that I did such a fabulous job vacuuming, that I never even had the opportunity to "pay the bills." There has been a lot of double-entendre filled recap about our (short-lived) night of unbridled passion around here this week. For example:


My Baby's Daddy (while discussing fixing our laptop's wireless connection problem): "It shouldn't be too hard, it'll just take me a minute."

Me: "Yeah, I remember."


So, for the past few days, he's been begging for a do-over. A rematch. A chance to redeem himself as the Energizer Bunny of Love. And of course, he's constantly telling me how amazing I am, and how much the vacuuming means to him.

This is a true discussion that we had just this morning:

MBD: "So, do you like doing it (vacuuming)?"

Me: "I don't mind it."


MBD: "But do you like it? I want you to like it."

Me: "I really don't mind. I mean, there are things I'd rather be doing, of course, but it's fine."

MBD: (All astonished that there could possibly be anything more fulfilling for me on earth...) "Give me an example of what you'd rather do."

Me: "Read a book."

MBD: "You can't say that!!!! That's like saying I like to take a good shit, and I like to eat a good steak--it's just not the same!"

Me: "We're having steak for dinner."

Fun and Games

My good friend Janet, who is always hanging out with the coolest kids on the block, is participating in this kind-of-like-a meme, but it's designed just for you. The deal is this...Janet answered five questions, and then she agrees to e-mail five questions to anyone who wants to play along. Which of course, I did. So now, anyone who wants me to send them five questions can keep the ball rolling. C'mon...you know you want to share with the group! Here are five things that Janet wants to know about me:

1. What are you working on a grant for? I do contract grant work for a local non-profit. The majority of funding is to support a 24-hour pediatric nursing facility. I also do freelance grant work, PR, and event planning. E-mail me if you need a grant writer!!! (grantwriting@bellsouth.net)

And you thought I just wiped butts and noses...

2. What do you want your kids to know most about you as a person and not just a mom? I want them to know that I have a great sense of humor, that I love to laugh, I love life, and I love to have fun...life is too short not to! I want them to know that I have always tried to do the right thing, and that I've been able to put my head on the pillow every night knowing that I have not intentionally hurt another person. I want my love of reading and writing to be evidenced in their lives. I want them to see me as a fair and open-minded person. I want them to know that while I wasn't always morally perfect, I was never a hypocrite. I want them to know that while being their mom doesn't define me as an individual, it is the most important part of my life. The day before The President was born, (we knew I was being induced) My Baby's Daddy & I made a videotape of ourselves in the nursery, talking to our unborn child. I try to live by the words he said that day, "You can always ask us anything, and you can always tell us anything."

3. If I dropped you off in the middle of Times Square NYC what would you do? Party like it's 1999....No, seriously--first, I would hope that you would stay with me, because we could have so much fun! I would go someplace fab-u-lous to eat, and then see a show, have some drinks, and see what happens next.


4. If you had to choose one thing to show off about your state/area what would it be?
Besides my kids?!?! Probably the beautiful beaches (about 3 hours from my home).




5. If you had to invite one celebrity over for grits with cheese who would it be and why?
My first instinct is to answer without hesitation--Matthew Freakin' McConaughey!!! He is so deliciously smokin' hot as fire, and ooooooh, that voice-with the warm, slow drawl....yes, please!!!! He has been on my reserve list forevah! Okay, but then I start to think about it....He is so hot and sexy, that I'd be all stressed out and worried about how I look, and what to say. I'm sure he would have that Southern charm of his working, and c'mon now, is there really any danger of Mr. Sexiest Man Alive gettin' busy with Mrs. Married Mom? We'd probably be great friends, have some laughs and drinks on the veranda...but oh, the pressure!!! I would probably be better off with someone like Grey's Anatomy creator Shonda Rimes...someone who is not the object of a long-time school-girl crush, we'd have lots to talk about, and she might even offer me a job as a writer....get me her number, I think I'll just go ahead & call her up right now!

Southern Fried Update

I really am still here!!! Sorry for the unannounced little blogging hiatus. I really didn't intend to go so long between posts, but I have had a lot on my plate (understatement of the century), and life happens. I'm not going to post about anything specific about my family's situation for a while, but know that my faith is strong, and we are doing very well. Thanks for your prayers, good wishes, and concerns. I am happy to correspond individually through e-mail about the more personal stuff for the time being.

Cool stuff that's going on in my world: I'm working on my tan, and I wish I were working harder on my weight loss. I'm getting there, though. The countdown is on to my annual girls' beach trip. Woohoo! I didn't think we were going to do it this year, but we are & I am so very ready for some mindless sunning, drinking, shopping, and trash-book reading. I even found the cutest baseball cap (brown & pale turquoise) with the Mailbu rum logo! Regular readers (if I have any left) may remember that my signature beverage of choice is a Route 44 Diet Coke with lime from Sonic with a big ol' shot of Malibu---yum-my! Spring Break was last week for The President, and he had a great time. Went to the zoo, a little camping, saw TMNT, and hung out with the family. The weather has been gorgeous (80s) and we took full advantage of it.

Some stuff that sucks: Monday morning, trying to get everyone back in the groove after a week off, I'm pushing the limits of time...go to wake up Fat Baby at the last possible minute...nasty, stinky puke all over his crib, all over him...dis-gust-ing! Change sheets, bathe kid, know that he won't be attending his only weekly day of Mom's Day Out, and my ability to work on my grant-writing will be compromised at best. Along with the fantastic weather here in the Deeeep South comes about 3 inches of thick, yellow pollen. I can not walk to the mailbox with out wheezing, coughing, sneezing, and itchy, watery eyes.

But did I mention that the Girls' Beach Trip is coming?!?! I am also going to book a condo this evening for our family vacation. I am going to be pretty worthless this summer. Anyone care to join me?