Saturday, August 04, 2007

By any other name...

We returned home tonight from a fabulous dinner out. I was totally stuffed, and my new bra (which made the girls oh-so-perky) was cutting me in half. I started shedding clothes on my way to my room to remove the offending garment, and snuggle into my cozy pjs. Let me remind you that:

#1) we have a very liberal nudity policy around the House of Southern Fried Fun
#2) being genteel Southerners and all, we are big fans of the euphemism...(body parts, bodily functions, sex and sex-related acts, diseases, scandal and scandalous behavior, and the like)

The boys refer to their package as their "goober." The accompaniments are known by various names, including nuts, the boys, balls, etc.

Since there is only one non-boy in the house, my stuff is known as "not a goober" and "boobies."

I will (and have) teach them age-appropriate, accurate information as the situation dictates. The President knows that his goober's "real name" is a penis. He seems to prefer goober & I'm fine with that. The President remembers me breastfeeding, and is aware that my boobies have a purpose & his don't. He will tell you that boys' boobies are just for decoration. He sometimes calls his tiny little nippley-area, "my decorations."

But it was his little brother who followed me into the bedroom. When I took off my bra, Fat Baby smiled & said, "A Goober!"

I said, "No, those are Mommy's boobies."

Staring in fascination, he said again, "Goober!"

"No, those are my boobies." (I'm wondering how on earth this kid has made the connection that all things private are grouped together in a set...)

Finally, he said, "And a Goober!" I looked down, and realized...the ceiling fan was on, air conditioner full-force, and my boobie had sprouted a goober, indeed.

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At 10:35 AM, Blogger Blue Momma said...

That's just tooo funny!

We are big on the euphamisms too, with a sprinkling of the correct terms just for fun. And we use a different ones, too.

Punkin' has settled on "wing ding" for his penis, though he will say penis, occasionally, which still sounds a little funny to me, coming from a nealy three year old.

When I grew up my mother simply didn't name them in hopes that I wouldn't know they were there or show any interest in their use or function.

Boy, did that ever not work....

At 2:12 PM, Blogger DOMESTIC DIVA said...

ROFL!!! That was hilarious!

Hubby and I call his penis "peter" and pnut refers to balls as "NUTZ". It is funny to hear the pnut because he will at random run into a room drop his pants and scream "NUTZ". Laugh and then leave. He is only 2!

Having a house of all boys is just indescribable at times.

At 1:55 AM, Blogger Heather said...

Too funny!

Around these parts, we call it a tallywhacker. So appropriate, i know.

I am reaching the stage where I'm having to dress with the door closed because the oldest stares at my boobs in a way that makes me say ugh.

At 8:48 AM, Blogger Queen of the Mayhem said...

That is hilarious! My friend's son called his behind a "go-go". One time when she was wearing a lower cut shirt....he took one look at her cleavage and said, "Ooh Mama....I see you go-go!"

I love to hear the things kids say!

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Devilish Southern Belle said...

Oh dear! Kids are so funny, and honest.

At 2:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

His decorations!!!!!

I frickin' love that!

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Worker Mommy said...

So funny!

They are smart aren't they!?

At 12:51 PM, Blogger Super B's Mom said...

That is so flippin hilarious.

It's weiner and ballsack at our house. Obviously hubbie provided us with the latter. Not very big on being in the middle of WalMart and having your 4 yr-old shout, "Owww mommie I hurt my ballsack!!!"

God help me.

At 4:23 PM, Blogger Special K ~Toni said...

Hahaha! I have a couple of bras that make the girls look really great, but the steel cable they using in manufacturing them cuts me in half!


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