The Big Year-Ender

First, the obligatory resolutions:

1. I will not list my weight loss as a resolution. It is a lifestyle choice, not something to commit to just because it is a new year. I could not resist, however, signing up for Lotta's Future MILFs! A little added inspiration never hurt anyone.

2. Because I don't want to bite off more than I can chew....I will commit to purging at least one trash bag full of junk per week. To say that I will streamline and organize my entire life at once scares the hell out of me.

3. To be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, and friend I can be.

That's all I've got to give, boys & girls...I swear, my anxiety disorder kicks in at the very thought of making one more commitment. I almost listed my intention to seek therapy for the panic attacks & overwhelming hormonal angst, but how interesting would life be in '07 without all that?!

Now, on to the fun stuff....I present to you, Barbara Walter's style:

SOUTHERN FRIED MOM'S MOST INTRIGUING PEOPLE OF 2006

Keep in mind that intriguing does not mean the hottest or the coolest, the nicest or the most intelligent. Those who make this list are sometimes the train wrecks of humanity...I want to stop staring, but I just can't. This list (and this blog) is just my opinion, and is for my own amusement.

10. Giada de Laurentiis

Okay, she's gorgeous, and Italian, and all that, but does she have to show her entire upper gum when she smile-talks? Also, the over-enunciation, and the gratuitous rolling r's and liberal sprinkling of Italian words into her lukewarm cooking show make me want to scream...yet, I'll still tune in and watch for 6 or 7 minutes at a time. Go figure.

9. Vince Vaughn

There is just something about him that I love love love. He's not breathtakingly handsome like, say Matthew McConaughey...but he is just someone you'd have a great time hanging out with. I love charisma & I bet he would keep you laughing. Kind of sexy in a non-traditional way. Mmmmmmhmmmm.

8. Anna Nicole Smith

Just pure old bat-shit crazy, Anna Nicole is the original celebrity train wreck!!! I feel so sorry for the loss of her son, which makes her even more intriguing. Her biography reads like a bad soap opera script. Backwoods hick has a little modeling success, marries her a sugar daddy. Sugar Daddy kicks off & all the heirs to the fortune hate her freaking guts. There's weight issues (TRIMSPA, BABY!!!), addiction, and insanity. And now we don't even know who the baby daddy is.

7. Rosie O'Donnell

Back in the carefree days of her original talkshow, Rosie was a breath of fresh air. She sang, danced, gave away free stuff, and made you feel good for spending an hour of your day watching. I couldn't wait to get home in the afternoon to see it. I miss that happy-go-lucky Rosie. I enjoy it when she makes a little cameo on "The View." Bitter, angry Rosie kinda scares me. I want her to smile, and mean it. But hostile or not, she totally intrigues me.

6. Simon Cowell

2006 was my first full season of American Idol. My love of Taylor Hicks has been (not sufficiently) documented on this blog. Taylor would be the obvious choice if I were composing a list of my ten favorite people of 2006, but this is my most intriguing list...and Simon Cowell, the Bad Boy of American Idol, is fascinating. I love his sarcastic and brutally honest responses to contestants and his fellow judges.

5. Larry the Cable Guy

I don't care who you are...he's funny! And he was my favorite character in the movie Cars. To hear The President say, "Like tuh-mater, but without the TUH!" makes me smile every time.

4. Angelina Jolie

I can't believe I actually acknowledged her on my blog. The Big Year-Ender no less...BUT, I can't even help myself. I spend more time than I should thinking of how this one gets on my last damn nerve. She gives me the creeps. Yeah, she's sexy, exotic, blah blah blah...but she looks like she could use a good bath. Her lips are too big and mushy, and she just reeks of skank. I just don't get the appeal...I have good friends (and a husband) who find her very attractive. Seriously. That's what intrigues me most. What would you think if you ran into her in sweatpants down at the Wal-Mart? I'm just saying.

3. Dan Zanes

Like most moms, the sounds of Playhouse Disney, Noggin, and Nick Jr. are the soundtrack of my life. We have seen Dan Zane's House Party on Disney plenty of times, but there's one particular episode that's a favorite of Fat Baby's where this guy sings a song called, "Catch That Train." I can not stop watching it...I shamelessly admit that I even added the song to my mp3 player. The guy is so skinny in that video--like a big tall, wild-haired toothpick! A perfect, quirky kid's singer.

2. Dr. Phil

I just love anybody who tells it like it is...my motto being, "If God knows I'm thinking it, I might as well say it!!!!" Dr. Phil just gets up in people's kool-aid & tells them how it is. "Well, the reason you're so damn fat is because you need to lay off the Big Macs, honey!" Just a little good, old fashioned common sense. Seems like Robin keeps him in check, too. I enjoy that.

1. My Dad is by far the most intriguing person I know. And with the damn Alzheimer's he is just one surprise after another. The fact that I never know how he's going to be definitely qualifies Pop as my most intriguing person of 2006! He has pulled some stunts that you wouldn't believe if I told you! Sometimes it's not fun, but I definitely have learned things about who he really is that I might otherwise never have known. I am grateful for the good times we've had together in 2006, and will cherish some of the lessons he has taught me. Strength, courage, and perserverance among them. Without him I would not be here to start a fresh, new year in about an hour. I see him in the faces, temperament, and laughter of my little boys. I see him in my impatience, and in my determination.

Well, by now you've either rung in the new year, fallen asleep, or lost interest in my little year-end ramblings. Fortunately, it won't take you as long to read it as it has for me to put it together! I wish you all peace and happiness in the coming year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!