Saturday, January 13, 2007

A rare moment of sappiness

One thing you'll discover if you hang around here very much, is that humor is my number one coping mechanism....well, okay--it's actually a close second to denial, but anyway...I tend to try to steer clear from voicing my fears, anxieties, pain, sadness, and anger. I am afraid of making them too real, I guess. For the same reason, I don't usually blog about anything that's highly emotional. It would take a lot of personal growth for me to be able to recount something that frightened or upset me (therapeutic though it may be).

My sweet friend Janet at Dancing Through is so great at expressing herself. She just puts it all out there, and does so beautifully. I duck and weave, internalize and deny. Stay busy. Keep too many balls in the air.

I tend to write little "episodes" of my life. Just light-hearted stuff that might entertain someone. Or provoke a conversation.

All that to say, I just couldn't keep myself from sharing a thought I had. Because I thought it was beautiful. We had an unexpected visit from my dad & step-mother today. It was great. I love any opportunity to spend time with my dad, because he has a number of health issues, not the least of which is early onset Alzheimer's Disease (he is 58) and heart disease. He has gotten a lot more fragile in the past two years since he was diagnosed with "Big AL" (his name for AD). I really appreciate it when my boys get one-on-one time with Pop. He is a total character, and loves those boys like nobody's business.

They just came for a day-visit & left after we returned from going out to an early dinner. Later, when I was getting Fat Baby into his jammies, I could smell my dad's distinct scent on him--combined with the yummy Fat-Babyness, it was something I wish I could bottle and keep. It was the scent of my past, present, and future.

Are you tearing up along with me? God, I must have total PMS....I just don't carry on like this.

And I have a zit, too.

6 Comments:

At 3:42 AM, Blogger yerdoingitwrong said...

Yup. I am tearing up right along with you.

xo.

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

You are amazing. So glad you had that time with your dad...Blog about it all...It will be there forever.

I want you to know, that one of your earlier posts about your dad has enabled me to open up the way I have. You, my friend, inspired me to open up and tell all. Not the other way around. (I thank you anyway for your 'love')

It's amazing this blog thing. How it connects people and makes you a better person by helping you externalize the things that move you.

Thank you for the wonderful 'mention' but you are the one that helped me get it out there....

So thank you friend.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Queen of the Mayhem said...

I teared up myself! Here's hoping that you get many more opportunities to see your dad interact with your kids! :)

PS: I am with you on the coping mechanisms! I am nothing without my strong sense of denial!

 
At 11:35 AM, Anonymous TwinsMom said...

My God, that was beautiful! I can imagine the love you felt as you took in that wonderful smell. It absolutely brought a tear to my eye.

So glad y'all got to spend the day with your dad. See all that cleaning was really worth in the end, but you already knew that!

Love You!

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Jules said...

So sweet, makes me cry too! We have so much in common. I just finished reading your blog start to finish (I know I have too much time on my hands). I enjoyed every minute and I am so glad I found you!!

 
At 12:29 AM, Blogger Lotta said...

(Raising hand) also having PMS and your post choked me up. I was hanging out with my mom this past Sat. and she said something like, "Well if I live to be 95 like my dad I have a good 35 years left." I almost lost it. Suddenly 35 years (or realistically 25 years) seemed like it would go by in the blink of an eye.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home